Situation

We are taught many things in school: math, sciences, history, art, languages and so on. Simply put, most educational systems teach us about the world outside of us. Yet, unfortunately, we are left to explore the inner workings of the world inside of us alone. That can be very frustrating.

To release some of that frustration and shed some light on our inner world, today I am going to explore the topic of emotional intelligence. I am going to attempt to accomplish that by examining what emotions really are; and I am going to tell you how to use your own emotions to improve your life.

What are emotions?

Unconventional View

To understand what emotions are, we have to first understand what human beings are. However, since it is too complex of a question to be answered in this article, for simplicity’s sake let us just assume that humans are just complex self-aware machines. In order for these “machines” to properly function in this world, it comes equiped with a navigation, guidance and control system – emotions or feelings.

Emotions exist to help us understand the world around us, they motivate us to do one things and not the other, they helps us form habits and so. In its simplest sense, emotions provide us with useful information to help us make decisions. It is my belief that it is the only purpose of emotions and nothing else.

Conventional View

Yet, it is my understanding, that most people just feel the emotions. That is, they do not do anything else with their emotions, at least consciously. It is to say that emotions run other people’s lives for them: it moves people away from pain and towards pleasure. Sometimes, it so happens that the pattern above drives people into indecision, depression, loneliness, stagnation and general dissatisfaction with life.

Why and how does it happen? The answer is fairly straight forward: every emotion is a from of drug and drugs are addictive. Emotions chemically alter our natural state of being causing us essentially to experience an alternative reality.  There is nothing wrong with that, unless we start forming destructive habits to satisfy a variety of cravings for emotions  ranging from feeling happy, to angry, to sad, to helpless or hopeless. Yes, you have read it correctly – people can and do get addicted to extremely negative and destructive emotions. Unconsciously repeating a certain pattern of actions that cause a particular emotion conditions our mind to think that it is the new normal state of being and our brain will do everything in its power to get there.

At that point, some people will make the attempt and go see a doctor who will them what they are feeling and why, while paying a nice chunk of change. It is a gloomy situation, but, sadly, it is a reality for many people. But it does not have to be that way and I will show how to harness your emotions use them in a constructive fashion.

Why Educate Yourself

Before we go any further, let’s us take a peek of what awaits your if you commit yourself to understanding your own emotions. The benefits of emotional intelligence  can include any of the following:

• better decision-making;
• healthier mind and body;
• increased levels of energy;
• increased efficiency;
• increased sense of self-worth;
• ability to be in control of your life;
• etc.

How to Make Use of Your Own Emotions?

If you follow the direction bellow you will be able to get the most of your emotions:

1. Become aware of your own emotions. Sounds simple and you might even think: “Hey! I know when I am happy, sad, upset, depressed, angry, etc.” It would be my inclination to challenge that statement. It mostly has to do with self-deception, environmental influences, various natural sate of being altering substances (drugs, alcohol, tobacco, etc.).  Being aware of an emotion means being able to identify the emotion for what it really is and acknowledging that you are feeling the emotion as you are experiencing it. You can read more about  become more aware here.
2. Do not identify with your emotions. It means to understand that you are experiencing the emotion, but being able to watch it from an outsider’s point of view. Another expression that is commonly used is  being detached.  It sounds vague, but the following comparison should help. Imagine that the emotion is strong river flowing by you. You can either just watch that river go by and recognize it for what it is (not identify yourself with the emotion) – a river; or you can jump in the river and give in to currents and let it take you along with it (becoming identified with the emotion).
3. Analyze and understand where the emotions came from and why you are experiencing them. My professor once told me, that in order to really understand what is going on, you have to ask “why” five times. So ask yourself :”Why am I experiencing this emotion?” five times, each time uncovering a new layer of causation, until finally you will know why.
4. Make an informed decision about a certain situation, which will help you lead a healthy life not to mention the increased awareness of your inner world.

Once again, I have to warn you that is no easy task and requires dedication and hard work and it might take years to fully master it, but even the longest of journeys start with the firs step. And, remember, you are not alone in your quest.

What Can The Reader Expect Next?

Next article will examine happiness for what it is using the concepts discussed in this article and I will show how chasing happiness can lead to the ultimate unhappiness in life.