Summary

This article is going to offer a practical guide to self-awareness. Last week I discussed awareness and it’s importance in our lives. Yet, from my experience, I know that people are looking not only for theoretical knowledge, but for practical tips of how to implement a change in their lives. That is why today I am giving you a free practical guide to self-awareness based on personal experiences: “Look Outside To Learn About What’s Inside.”

Assumptions

It is my strong belief supported by my experiences that the world outside of ourselves is a pretty good indicator of what is going inside. It reveals unparalleled information about our emotional state of being. If you read my article on emotions, then you know how much information emotions actually hold.

What is the basis in saying that  the world outside  of ourselves is a pretty good indicator of what is going inside? Experience. That’s the quick answer.

The more detailed answer follows. Most people seek validation for their actions, thoughts and feelings. We naturally want to be understood and fit in with others. That is how we connect with the rest of the world. It is good a good part of our human nature if you use for the right purposes.

However, it can be harmful if it is used carelessly. If people are feeling negative emotions, they will be more likely to seek validation of their feelings by subconsciously seeking negativity. It may come in various forms. Some people turn to other negative people; some turn to unhealthy foods; some turn to sad or depressing music, movies, books. etc. All of the above actions are meant to validate that our negative emotions are normal. In essence, they are meant to make us feel good about feeling bad. That is a trap that most people fail to become aware of.

Look Outside To Learn What’s Inside

That is exactly why I wrote this article – to increasing your awareness of your emotional state of being. The simple correlation between your inner world and your outer one is this: disorder or negativity on the outside usually reflects the same on the inside. It is important to not use this guide to evaluate other people’s inner emotional states. Most people are good at hiding even the smallest things from the outsiders. This guide is intended for your own personal use and evaluation only.
There are five ways that we absorb information from the outside world:

• sight,
• hearing,
• taste,
• touch,
• smell.

With that in mind, I will teach you how to use those five senses to increase the awareness of your emotions. Ask yourself the questions listed bellow and examine the answers that you get. The accumulation of those answers should give you a pretty good understanding of what is going on the inside.

1. What do you see?
   • What do you see in the mirror?
     1. Are you satisfied with your physical fitness?
        • Be honest with yourself. Could you be in a better physical shape than you are today? It is important to clarify one point: just because you are not happy with the way your body looks, does not mean that you are not in shape. For example, you could be in the best shape of your life and still could be unhappy with your body. Leave negative body images aside.
     2. Is there a smile on your face?
        • A fellow blogger and a good friend of mine, Oleg Mokhov, covered smiling in one of his outstanding articles: “How to Drastically Improve Your Mood: Smile”
     3. Are you well-groomed?
        • Do you take the time to shave, get a haircut, etc?
     4. How does your skin look?
        • Healthy skin goes back to proper nutrition and stress management. Are you doing a good job at managing both?
     5. Do you have healthy teeth?
        • Do you take time everyday to brush your teeth to keep them healthy?
   • What movies are you watching?
     • Are they happy, thoughtful movies with social commentary? Are they comedies that give you a good laugh? Are they horror movies? Are they existentialist movies? Are they drama filled?
   • What do you see around yourself?
     • Is your desk messy? Is your house messy? Is your bedroom neat? Is computer organized? Is your car clean? What about your garage? What about your yard? What about your closet? What do you see on your way to work? What about the neighborhood that you live?
   • What do you read?
     • Are you reading self-help blogs, magazines, books? Are you reading knowledge enhancing books? Are you reading drama? Are you reading comics?
   • What clothes do you wear?
     • Are they dark? Are they bright? Do you wear “happy” colors?
2. What do you hear?
   • What music do you listen to?
     • Is it happy? Is it peaceful? It it rowdy, angry, energetic, sad, motivating, relaxing?
   • What are people saying to you?
     • The basic question here is: “Are you surrounding yourself with the right people?” Are they positive or negative? Do they complain a lot? Do they encourage you? Do they strive to achieve things in life? Do they look for solutions?  Do they gossip?
   • What about the noise outside?
     • Is it quiet? Is it noisy? Can you sleep and rest well?
3. What do you smell?
   • How do you smell?
     • Do you take the time to take care of yourself? Do you smell fresh and clean? Are your clothes clean?
   • How does your environment smell?
     • Do you live by a road, a factory? Do you live by a park? Do you like in the country? How does your house, your room, your office, your bathroom smell?
   • How does your food smell?
     • Does it smell fresh? Does it smell inviting?
4. What do you taste?
   • How does your food taste?
     • This question basically deals with your diet. Does your food taste good? Is it something that you should be eating? Is it the right food for you?
   • How does your water taste?
     • Does it taste fresh? Is it refreshing?
5. What do you touch?
   • Are your clothes smooth to the touch? What about your skin? Other textures around you?
     

The reasons for choosing junk food over healthy one over are various and complex and I do not believe the discussion of those reasons would add any value to this discussion. That is why I am going to omit them for the time being.

How To Use The Information

1. Get in the habit of asking yourself these questions and monitoring the responses. That will give you a ton of data to work with.
2. Catch yourself in a certain emotional state fast! If it is not a pleasant one, then you will be able to do something about it fast.
3. Identify habits, places, people, foods, activities that are not healthy for you and that can and probably should be changed.
4. Change what you do not life. Just like your inner emotions will attract you to ideas, places, sounds, etc to support that inner states, so can the outside environment influence the way you feel inside. It is my experience that environment is a huge factor in the way we feel in life and what we do. So if you want to change your emotional state of being , then you should consciously change the way your perceive yourself. You should change your environment to support the new emotional sate that you want to be in.

Some things might be easy to fix. For example, you can start smiling, brushing your teeth, washing your clothes regularly, cleaning your desk or room today. However, some changes will take much longer. For example, changing the people that you hang out with, moving to a different neighborhood , getting a different job, getting in shape, eating proper foods might you take you a long time. Yet I believe that is possible and many people have done it.

The important things that you are aware of your emotional state and being able to identify things that limit your growth and eliminating or changing them. If you are looking for effective ways to simplify your life and eliminate the unnecessary, I highly recommend ZenHabits.net.

Thank you for reading.

***DISCLAIMER: Also, a reader must understand that correlation does not imply causation. That is, just because your car is messy or that you like horror movies does not mean that you necessarily have emotional issues to deal with. The same is true for the opposite: just because you are watching good movies, listen to calm music, are well put together does not mean that your emotions are under control. I just noticed correlation between my emotional states in my life and my surroundings, which, most of the time, are pretty good indicators of m inner feelings.***