You touched on two points: being disconnected from yourself and being disconnected from others. It seems that those two events work in tandem and eventually result in loneliness.

It is important to realize that all of the emotion will come to pass, but what is more important to learn lessons from your emotions. Just waiting for the emotions to pass will eventually lead to suffering as you will always be living in the future forgetting the present. Breath is the tool that brings us back to the present.

I have learned something from your comment, Fiona.

Thank you!

Best,
Tomas

So I don’t think loneliness is just about being alone; it’s about not connecting with others as strongly or deeply as you would like. There’s no easy way out of this feeling; like all strong emotions, getting through loneliness takes courage, perspective and perseverance.

So I think it’s important to treasure and strengthen the personal connections you do have, try to create more where possible, and BREATHE! Remember that in time, all feelings – even the unpleasant ones – will pass.

In this case you provided me with ammunition to think.

Feeling disconnected from my authentic self – that’s what loneliness is? You really got me thinking.

I am really having a tough time wrapping my head around this concept just now. Honestly, I cannot provide you with a reasonable answer at this point of time.

However, my initial reaction is this: Loneliness is probably a mixture of both. Maybe feeling disconnected from your own identical self causes one to feel disconnected from others? Or maybe feeling disconnected from others causes you to question and feel disconnected from yourself?

Maybe is it the question of cause and effect? I am not sure, but it would great to read your thoughts on this issue.

Thanks for another thought provoking comment Jared, it is helping me grow.

Best,
Tomas

You said the following: “Loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected from the rest of the people. It is the inability to relate to others on any level: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. At least that is how I understand it. That would explain why very successful people and very unsuccessful people can feel lonely – most people find it hard to relate to them and vice versa.”

This is definitely what most people would believe is the root of loneliness, but my experience proves that loneliness has nothing to do with being disconnected from the rest of the people, but rather EVERYTHING to do with feeling disconnected from yourself. Loneliness is born as an internal emotion because of the inability to relate with your authentic self. When you feel like you want to “run away,” it is impossible because you might be able to run, but you will NOT be able to hide as you are always with YOU. I am actually in the process of writing an article about this concept because I have always believed that once we are able to find the solution to the unanswered questions in our lives, we are then able to let go and move on to the next echelon in our existence.

Wonderful post and thank you for providing me with ammunition to think!!!

Thanks for a great reply. I love the analogy of a party. It makes a fairly complex issue very simple. The thing I appreciate the most is ideas of how to take this article to the next level.

Sometimes, I do not even think that far ahead, but your ideas keep pushing me towards the right direction. :)

Thanks for all of your help.

Best,

Tomas

P.S. Thanks for noticing the type. It shows that you really read it :) Hehe

Finding the right people plus opening up to them is a powerful combination to deal with loneliness.

If you don’t open up, people can’t get to know you. It’s like throwing a party but locking your door and not letting anyone know. But even if you’re opening up to those around you, they might not relate or resonate enough with you to connect. You feel out of touch and not inspired or excited by them. So you need to find other people – ones that are on your level.

There’s a reason that some people move up the ladders in their lives and find new friends that are on their level. They can no longer relate to those with a scarcity mindset when theirs is that of abundance, or those with a poor attitude when theirs is rich. So finding the right people is crucial.

When you can easily connect with a person, there’s no maintenance or tweaking that needs to be done in order to make the relationship work. You two just know. You get the words out of the way to more quickly connect and share ideas and experiences. All of a sudden, loneliness is thrown out the window and you’re forming genuine relationships with those that really get you.

Surrounding yourself with the right people–those that are either living how you are or how you aspire to–and opening up to them is a ridiculously effective method to overcoming loneliness.

Like with your previous article, I could see this being expanded into a practical ebook-style guide. Actually giving step-by-step instructions on how and where to look for new people, how to start opening up to introverts, and so forth. I know I could’ve benefited from a guide like this years ago :)

Great stuff as always,
Oleg

PS. Typo in the 1st sentence of next-to-last paragraph? Should “If I had to some all the above” be “If I had to sum up all of the above” ?

Thank you for stopping by to read my humble work. I really appreciate it. I hope you found it useful.

Best,
Tomas

Thank you for such an insightful comment. Happiness cannot be without loneliness. I like that phrase.

Loneliness just indicates that you are doing something other people around you are not. And just like with every emotion, we can learn from and grow towards a more fulfilled person.

Best,
Tomas