I am glad you enjoyed the article, but unfortunately it is true that one cannot have expectations of others. Life is ever changing. You cannot expect stability from something that’s changing.

It is seems to me that you experiences deal not as much as having wrong expectations of others, but having others walk over you. That is a different problem entirely. It has to do with giving away your power. So you kind of have to learn to realize to keep your power for yourself sometimes and have trust in yourself always. Try it.

It will work.

Best,
Tomas

The Joker (Written years ago)

I was thinking about the world and all it’s surroundings.
I was thinking about the people and all their belongings.
Is it real? Or just an illusion in someone’s mind?
Are we just pawns in someone’s game?
Put into this existence for someone’s pleasure?
To love to live,
to live to die?
To hope to laugh,
To learn to cry?
Hoping for truth,
Given a lie?
Longing for love,
Feelings of shame?
Nothing to lose,
Nothing to gain?
Longing for pleasure,
Living in vain.
I hope this person is watching and enjoying his game.
Why fight it?
The joker is wild, I am in pain.

Very interesting point. I was not even aware of that such figure existed in that many cultures. Come to think about the trickster shows up in many cultures in one shape or another.

It almost exists there to laugh in our face and ask: “Why so serious?” Come to think about it, that line is so true and probably very misinterpreted. See, life is not that serious at all and we should not take is such, because every time we do take life to seriously and try to control it, the life will laugh back at our face and trick us to realize how trivial everything is.

Huh. I think I just got the real message of the Joker :)

Thanks Alex:)

Visit more often, you seem to have a very unique take on things.

Best,
Tomas

“Many native traditions held clowns and tricksters as essential to any contact with the sacred. People could not pray until they had laughed, because laughter opens and frees from rigid preconception. Humans had to have tricksters within the most sacred ceremonies for fear that they forget the sacred comes through upset, reversal, surprise. The trickster in most native traditions is essential to creation, to birth”.

I think this parallels a lot of the observations that Tom has made about the Joker.

A pleasurable visit as always. I have to admit, The Dark Knight was a really powerful movie and the quotes from the above are some of the most memorable ideas from the movie.

Best,
Tomas

Great application of the the principles described in the article. Unfortunately, most people will never be able to make this leap. I wonder why the illusion of control is embedded in our minds?

Best,
Tomas

The best way to improve a relationship is to focus on bettering yourself, not trying to control the other person (which is futile).

Like you mentioned, the only thing you can control is yourself. So instead of trying to control others to fit your needs or see a certain version of yourself, just focus on improving yourself instead. Have a bad habit you don’t want people to see? Instead of trying to control people to see or deal with you in a certain way, just work on eliminating that bad habit. It’s the only thing you can control and do GUARANTEED.

I see this all the time in romantic relationships. Ego and jealousy always get in the way of a potentially awesome relationship. Hey guy, instead of worrying about whether your girl is sneaking around behind your back, put all that energy into bettering yourself. You’re improving the one thing you have complete control of, and the side effect is your girl will become more attracted to this better version of you – thus eliminating any chance of her getting romantically involved with someone else.

And if she still isn’t in love with you, then it’s not a right match for this type of relationship, so just let it be and find more compatible mates. Because again, you ultimately can’t control her and how she feels about you. You can only control making a better version of you and having that attract the right people.

Nice quote from the Joker. It was my favorite lines from the film,
Oleg