Are you into self-development? Chances are that you are. Self-development seems to be this new fad that people are addicted to. It seems to be the thing to be doing. I might be wrong. Yet, it is the impression that I am getting. It makes me wonder why many people are so obsessed with it. Is it because of genuine desire to grow or is it something that you are doing just to make yourself feel better?

I know I have been in both situations. I found that doing something for the wrong reasons might get you to do something for the right reasons. Here I will share a bit of my personal life to illustrate the point.

How I Discovered Self-Development

It was a freshman year in college. I was recovering from a rejection by a girl that I was attracted to. I found myself talking to this guy I barely knew. I told him of my problems and how I felt and how terrible what happened to me was. All of the sudden, he said: “I know exactly where you are coming from. Here is what I have been doing.” He suggested me that I read on material by David D’Angelo. So I did.

The material promised all of these tricks, tips and techniques of how to fill your life with women that you want. It promised an abundance of girls. I was pumped! I remember how excited and energized I was to get started. Immediately I started reading more and more about women and dating. I bought books, read them, watched videos, talked to my friends about it. It was an exciting new thing for me. That was in the spring of 2005.

However, the more I read about, the more I realized that there was something missing. I read all of these rules and techniques and there was so much to it! There was no way I could keep track of it all.More importantly, I felt like I was being fake. It did not feel natural or real. I felt like I was cheating myself and that women liked me for what I pretended to be, not for who I was.

Yet, I kept on reading and researching until I finally stumbled on something that completely shifted my focus from women to myself. That was what I felt was missing. The deeper and more in depth series by David D’Angelo completely ditched the rules and techniques and went deep into the topics that really mattered.

The material focused on becoming a man that women would want to be around naturally as opposed to using tricks and techniques to lure them in. I was shocked and amazed. I loved it! I opened up a completely new chapter of my life. My focus shifted from the external validation to internal development. I felt like I have rediscovered myself and what I was about and the things I should focus on. Everything became more meaningful and real. I started to get an increased feeling of self-worth and confidence. I was ready to continue my journey.

Then, came the period of obsession with self-development. Once again, I stared going through the material mindlessly without thinking about it. I was reading Steve Pavlina, Stephane Hemon, David D’Angelo, Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie and many other self-development materials. I was like a sponge absorbing it, but not putting it to use. Of course I got some benefit from it, but not as nearly as much as I thought I would get. Then eventually I got it. I understood how to use personal development articles and tips  for the best results.

How To Approach Self-Development For Best Results

Here I will share a list of tips that I came up with for you to get the most out of self-development materials:

• Accept yourself for who you are. Before you start any journey on self-development, accept and love yourself just for who you are. This will help you keep a healthy attitude towards what you are doing. Also, you will be able to keep yourself motivated when the things won’t go the way they were planned. You will be able to enjoin the results once you do get them. If you do not accept yourself for who yo are, no matter what you will do, you will feel inferior to somebody out there. So take care of this matter first and foremost before doing anything else.

• Slow Down. When you read the personal development materials, you will feel the need to go through them as fast as possible. You will want to do it all at once! It will be overwhelming and awesome at the same time. You will feel the need to read more right after you are done with article and move on to the next one. But the best thing you can do to save yourself time in the long run is to slow down! Read it slowly, think about it slowly, do it slowly. Give yourself time to understand what you reading. Simple things are not that simple to implement.

• Get Organized. You will find many amazing articles and ideas that you will want to incorporate into your life. You will want to do it all at once. But know your own capabilities and your limits. Work on one thing at a time. Develop a plan of how to best use the valuable resources that you find. Read everything with a purpose. Know what you want to do. It might be even helpful to develop an inventory of your strengths and your weaknesses, so you will know how to direct your time and energy. Make a list of the things that you want to accomplish and keep track of your progress.

• Let It Sink In. After carefully reading it, let the thoughts sink in. Do not rush to the next thing that is planned in your daily agenda. Sit there and think about what you just read and how you can best incorporate into your life.

• Follow Directions. Most personal development articles will come with a to do list telling you what to do. Follow those directions! They are there for a reason. Do not just understand them intellectually, go through the steps and actually do them as directed. Most of the authors that write these things have done them. They know what they are talking about. They have been there. Trust their wisdom and follow their lead with an open mind.

• Limit Yourself. There are tons of so called gurus out there claiming that they are the next best thing. Some of them are truly amazing. However, once again – slow yourself. Pick only a couple of authors that you truly find interesting and study them. Stay calm and steady. Do not go over the board and read everything that it out there. Stick with what you read and try to truly understand it. For example, I read only Steve Pavlina for a long time. The reality is that most advice or tips that you are going to read are not going to be drastically different.

• Experiment. Not everything you find online will work for you. Try what you find interesting. Test out the ideas that you find appealing. Make it part of your personality if you find them attractive. Discard ideas that you do not agree with or that do not resonate with you. Find out what works for you. Do not blindly believe in what the author is saying. Have the courage to object and question everything that you read. Nobody is perfect.

• Create a supportive environment. If you are truly passionate about getting the most out of yourself, then it is possible that you will have to change your friends and where you live.  It might a hard decision, but the truth is that most people will never make the conscious step of changing their lives for the better. Find people that will support your goals and your new identity.

• Explore. Once you feel comfortable with what you are doing and understand why you are doing then you should explore author authors and other ideas out there. You will find that the same issues can be approached from many different angles. You might even find solutions to the problems that you current approach could not solve. Point being: do not settle. Keep looking and learning. That is the point of growth after all.

• Be persistent. Understand that this will take a lot of time! Keep going  and practicing even if you do not see the results right away. Trust the authors that you read and keep at it and you will be glad you did.

Best of luck! Go out there and get started!