Lately, I have been working on my personal life manifesto. I already have come up with a life purpose. I am yet to create a mission statement and life long goals that I want to accomplish. However, I did successfully complete creating a list of my own personal values.
Importance Of Values
Values are like your compass in life, helping you make the right decisions and keep yourself in check. Depending on what you value, you will pursue different goals. For example, if you value helping people then you would never take a job that hurts them. If you value cleanliness, then your environment should always be clean and pleasant. If you value simplicity, then you will abstain from acquiring unnecessary possessions.
Sometimes, we are aware of what is important to us. However, more often than not we forget what truly matters and go off doing things that are not related to our lives. That is why I believe it is important to always carry a written list of your core values with you. That way, you can always reference and look at it everyday, so core values stay fresh in your mind. For that purpose, I bought a journal to write down my values and carry with me everywhere.
How To Discover Your Values
I attempted to list my values multiple times. However, they were unsuccessful. I could not seem to really find a way of learning what mattered to me. I was confused with too many values to pick from. Finally, I stumbled upon this simple method to discover your values in about one hour or so.
Here are the steps:
- Take out a sheet of paper and write down what you dislike other about other people. What annoys you about others is something that you value yourself. Take the time to do this. Write out all of the qualities in other people that bother you. List whatever comes to your mind until you cannot think of anything else. Personal example; I cannot stand the following:
- people that lie to me
- people who are late
- hypocrites
- people who whine and complain
- etc.
- Then, turn those negative qualities into your own values. For example, if you cannot stand people that are lying to you, then your value could be honesty. If lazy people annoy you, then your value could be pro-activity. And so on.
- Once you do that, you can look for similar values so you can simplify and narrow down your list. You might have concentration and focus on that same piece of paper, just cross one out and leave the one that makes sense to you.
- Once you have a completel list, try prioritizing it so you know the most important values in your life. I personally put some of the following values in my top 10: growth, experience, integrity, independence.
The above described method is really simple, but it has truly helped me understand what is important to me and what I should strive for in my life.
Why Does It Work
“Be the change that you want to be in the world.” That is where I got the idea from. If we notice something that we do not like in others, then it must be important enough to us that we take the time to get annoyed by. When a person does something that irritates us, we feel like they have disrespected us. That is where our values lie. That is why I believe the above method is so effective at helping you create a list of core values
ACTION: Try it out and let me know how it worked out for you! Remember to write them down as well as follow them yourself!
5 Comments
I never thought of it this way, Tomas. Our values are actually the opposite of the qualities in people we can’t stand. I learned something very useful by coming here. I look forward to reading more insights from you.
Dear Tim:
I am extremely glad that you learned something new today! It makes me feel that what I am doing here is not lost and that it actually creates value for others!
I will work very hard to come up with more unique, challenging and value adding articles in the future.
Please visit more often!
Best,
Tomas
Hey Tom,
Your values are indeed your compass. Well put. Similar to how I say that your life manifesto is your GPS. Same idea, different gadgets :)
Very interesting approach towards writing down your values. I’ve never thought about looking at what I dislike in people and then flipping it to find my values. It seems practical and easy to get started. Nice one.
How I found my values were looking at others, but inverted to your technique: thinking about what I do like, basically. So, I would find that I like people who aren’t self-conscious, and one of my values would then be to not worry about what people think of me.
I suppose the common technique here is to look at others and find what you like/dislike, rather than abstractly pulling values out of thin air while sitting in front of a pad of paper. It’s more practical and effective this way.
Great Ghandi quote,
Oleg
Hey Oleg:
I guess I am a bit more old school than you are (I like compasses, you like GPS) ;)
Whatever floats your boat! It’s funny how we have completely opposite approaches to the same problem. But, like you said, either approach is helps us understand ourselves by analyzing others. Unique and effective :)
Best of luck and I cannot wait for your next post!
Best,
Tomas
Thank you so much for this post. I have been really trying to put into perspective what my values are after 43 years of doing things the wrong way. Not only the values I value to myself, but what I am looking for in others. I quickly determined there was something wrong with my “picker”. I despise dishonesty and deception, yet I pick women who lie to me. I despicse infidelity, yet I choose women who cheat on me. 43 years old, and just now starting to figure out who I am. Unfortunately, I am starting to feel alone because I am doubting whether anyone out there can match my values. I’m tired of “settling” and being used.
Thank you for your post
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