“Happiness is a side effect of me following my life’s purpose.”

And there I have been, wanting to “be happy” and seeing it as my goal …

But on the other hand, if one isn’t sure what the purpose of one’s life is, then what?
For me, this is the biggest problem, the biggest source of unhappiness.

“Understanding and differentiating between means and ends” is a good concept, but it doesn’t help if one isn’t sure about those ends to begin with.

Thanks for response!

Thank you so much for the compliments! I really appreciate, the positive feedback helps me keep writing and keep going.

A quick comment on setting a goal the is never achievable. If by a “goal” you mean your life purpose, then “Yes”. I think that your ultimate life purpose should never be achievable, that way you can spend your lifetime trying to fulfill it. That way your ultimate goal will always outlive your life. It reminds me of dedicating your life to an idea, which never dies.

However, I do believe that intermittent goals should be achievable otherwise, it will be difficult to measure your progress. If that makes sense? Let me know if I understood it correctly. Would love to discuss this in more detail!

Looking forward to your response!

Best,
Tomas

I am pretty certain that in most cases you will find IMPACT ON OTHER PEOPLE’S LIFE as their end. Money/wealth then became their means, which allowed them to reach the end.

To address the cases where wealthy people have, for whatever reason, set MONETARY WEALTH as their end, I would just postulate the following: once they reached their end/goal they either have changed it or they became quite miserable… drugs, addiction, obsessions, etc.

Now thinking about this, I would conclude the following: your means should be achievable and measurable goals/stepping-stones, and your end should be something intangible, and…(yes i will say this) NEVER FULLY ACHIEVABLE. If they are achievable, you will either have to push the bar higher and change your end or you will not live your life to the fullest because at that point you will “have arrived”. You should never arrive to the end, unless your life actually ends.

Too vague? please comment, as I have this pretty clear in my head but may not be articulating myself clearly.

p.s. Tom, stellar article. LOVED iT! This blog keeps getting better!

Thanks for the compliments :)

I think the best way to step outside of yourself is to write and journal. If you do it enough times, you will separate your emotions from your thoughts and gain clarity. It takes time and effort, but the end results is worth.

It amazes me how little things like that make such a huge difference in our lives.

Best,
Tomas

You are making a good point. Yet, I believe that those billionaires had the bigger goal in mind and looked at the accumulation of money as mean to achieve those goals. I guess that would be the best way to explain it. So in the end money is just a mean.

But I see what you are saying. In the end, accumulation of money or seeking happiness are just means or tools to achieve the real goals.

Best,
Tomas

The Thoreau quote is beautiful and spot on.

You become unhappy by chasing a means, not the end. And it’s tough to clearly differentiate when you’re so emotionally invested – it IS your own life, after all.

It’s easy with building a house because we see it from the outside. With an objective point of view, we’re able to clearly differentiate the means from the end.

So, the trick is to objectively look at your life. Step back and pretend it’s a different person. Emotionally disconnect yourself from your life for a moment.

Then, you’ll be able to more easily see what the means and ends are, and if you’ve been confusing the former for the latter (great examples with chasing happiness and money, Tom).

By clearing up and re-focusing on the real ends, you’ll stop chasing the unchasable (a fleeting emotion) and start pursuing something that will naturally bring that positive emotion.

Best,
Oleg

PS. Great headline.