Comments on: A Sure Way To Piss People Off And How Not To Do It http://uncertainchange.com/2010/02/03/a-sure-way-to-piss-people-off-and-how-not-to-do-it/ Accepting And Embracing Change In Our Lives Thu, 17 Jun 2010 12:09:29 +0000 hourly 1 By: Tomas Stonkus http://uncertainchange.com/2010/02/03/a-sure-way-to-piss-people-off-and-how-not-to-do-it/comment-page-1/#comment-358 Tomas Stonkus Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:55:03 +0000 http://uncertainchange.com/?p=1039#comment-358 Hey Raul: You are welcome :) I am glad you found this valuable. It is my experience that the intent makes a huge difference when trying to keep an open mind. If your intent is to learn something then you will do just fine, but if you come in with a closed mind already, then get ready for some negativity. And you are right, the more we do it, the more we are able to control our emotions and have them help us keep our cool. Best, Tomas Hey Raul:

You are welcome :) I am glad you found this valuable. It is my experience that the intent makes a huge difference when trying to keep an open mind.

If your intent is to learn something then you will do just fine, but if you come in with a closed mind already, then get ready for some negativity.

And you are right, the more we do it, the more we are able to control our emotions and have them help us keep our cool.

Best,
Tomas

]]> By: Tomas Stonkus http://uncertainchange.com/2010/02/03/a-sure-way-to-piss-people-off-and-how-not-to-do-it/comment-page-1/#comment-357 Tomas Stonkus Fri, 05 Feb 2010 05:38:26 +0000 http://uncertainchange.com/?p=1039#comment-357 Dear Michelle: Welcome! And I thought I was the first one to think of this! Darn you, Stephen Convey! :) It is true, if we all spend just little bit of time listening everyday, we would all come to understand how many similarities we all share! There are some many wonderful messages out there (like the bumper sticker on your grandparent's car); some many great tips, but instead of absorbing them and putting them to use, we are quick to push our worldviews on others without realizing that we might be talking about the same thing :) Thank you for the visit! Looking forward to more! Best, Tomas Dear Michelle:

Welcome! And I thought I was the first one to think of this! Darn you, Stephen Convey! :)

It is true, if we all spend just little bit of time listening everyday, we would all come to understand how many similarities we all share! There are some many wonderful messages out there (like the bumper sticker on your grandparent’s car); some many great tips, but instead of absorbing them and putting them to use, we are quick to push our worldviews on others without realizing that we might be talking about the same thing :)

Thank you for the visit! Looking forward to more!

Best,
Tomas

]]> By: Tomas Stonkus http://uncertainchange.com/2010/02/03/a-sure-way-to-piss-people-off-and-how-not-to-do-it/comment-page-1/#comment-356 Tomas Stonkus Fri, 05 Feb 2010 05:33:09 +0000 http://uncertainchange.com/?p=1039#comment-356 Dear Annemieke: Welcome to Uncertain Change! Thanks for reading the post. One thing that struck a chord with me was what you said about respect. I have had some of the most interesting conversations about religion, differing worldviews where we both understood that nobody was trying convince the other party, we both took the time to listen and full understand where the other party is coming from and maintained a respectful attitude the whole time. If every conversation, debate, or dialogue was like that then the world would be a better place. The second we spot respecting the other party, the second the dialogue stops! Thank you for the insight, Annemieke! Best, Tomas Dear Annemieke:

Welcome to Uncertain Change! Thanks for reading the post.

One thing that struck a chord with me was what you said about respect. I have had some of the most interesting conversations about religion, differing worldviews where we both understood that nobody was trying convince the other party, we both took the time to listen and full understand where the other party is coming from and maintained a respectful attitude the whole time.

If every conversation, debate, or dialogue was like that then the world would be a better place. The second we spot respecting the other party, the second the dialogue stops!

Thank you for the insight, Annemieke!

Best,
Tomas

]]> By: Michelle S. http://uncertainchange.com/2010/02/03/a-sure-way-to-piss-people-off-and-how-not-to-do-it/comment-page-1/#comment-355 Michelle S. Thu, 04 Feb 2010 15:54:13 +0000 http://uncertainchange.com/?p=1039#comment-355 Hello! Your post reminds me of Stephen Covey's Habit Five: Seek First to Understand and Then To Be Understood. If all nations could come from this perspective, we would be a much more peaceful world! Thank you for the great reminders and tips. The bumper sticker on my grandparents' car sums it up perfectly, too--it says "Listen to someone today." :) Hello! Your post reminds me of Stephen Covey’s Habit Five: Seek First to Understand and Then To Be Understood. If all nations could come from this perspective, we would be a much more peaceful world! Thank you for the great reminders and tips. The bumper sticker on my grandparents’ car sums it up perfectly, too–it says “Listen to someone today.” :)

]]> By: Annemieke http://uncertainchange.com/2010/02/03/a-sure-way-to-piss-people-off-and-how-not-to-do-it/comment-page-1/#comment-354 Annemieke Thu, 04 Feb 2010 08:48:13 +0000 http://uncertainchange.com/?p=1039#comment-354 Loved the post and I absolutely agree with you. I have been thinking a lot about that lately and think is very difficult to discuss things beyond a certain point. Sooner or later there is always a disagreement because of a certain worldview on both sides, which makes it almost impossible to continue. I have been comparing debate and dialogue lately and my view at this moment is that I would love to see a combination of both. I love the more open minded version of a dialogue, but I also like the more critical side of a debate. Proving the other wrong is very dangerous, but I think it certainly can serve a goal. If it is done with people who totally respect each other, I think discussions can be very interesting that way, if it is done in a playful, challenging way with genuine respect. Loved the post and I absolutely agree with you. I have been thinking a lot about that lately and think is very difficult to discuss things beyond a certain point.

Sooner or later there is always a disagreement because of a certain worldview on both sides, which makes it almost impossible to continue.

I have been comparing debate and dialogue lately and my view at this moment is that I would love to see a combination of both. I love the more open minded version of a dialogue, but I also like the more critical side of a debate.

Proving the other wrong is very dangerous, but I think it certainly can serve a goal. If it is done with people who totally respect each other, I think discussions can be very interesting that way, if it is done in a playful, challenging way with genuine respect.

]]> By: Ryan Cabrera and Audrina Patridge: It's On! – The Hollywood Gossip | Audrina Patridge Celebrity Monitor http://uncertainchange.com/2010/02/03/a-sure-way-to-piss-people-off-and-how-not-to-do-it/comment-page-1/#comment-353 Ryan Cabrera and Audrina Patridge: It's On! – The Hollywood Gossip | Audrina Patridge Celebrity Monitor Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:58:45 +0000 http://uncertainchange.com/?p=1039#comment-353 [...] A Sure Way To Piss People Off And How Not To Do It [...] [...] A Sure Way To Piss People Off And How Not To Do It [...]

]]> By: Alien Ghost http://uncertainchange.com/2010/02/03/a-sure-way-to-piss-people-off-and-how-not-to-do-it/comment-page-1/#comment-352 Alien Ghost Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:32:01 +0000 http://uncertainchange.com/?p=1039#comment-352 The first point will show that in the big majority of cases it is about to impose one's opinion over the other person, both ways. You are right about this, but to really achieve a meaninful interaction two parts are needed and nowadays it is pretty common the intention to prevail over to learn. Still, engaging in a discussion while applying these rules is an excellent way to practice patience and exercise to learn to open one's mind. Sometimes it is really difficult to achieve the purpose in the heat of a discussion, but practice makes perfect. A post to be enlighten, thank you! Raul The first point will show that in the big majority of cases it is about to impose one’s opinion over the other person, both ways.

You are right about this, but to really achieve a meaninful interaction two parts are needed and nowadays it is pretty common the intention to prevail over to learn.

Still, engaging in a discussion while applying these rules is an excellent way to practice patience and exercise to learn to open one’s mind.

Sometimes it is really difficult to achieve the purpose in the heat of a discussion, but practice makes perfect.

A post to be enlighten, thank you!

Raul

]]>