I deleted my facebook account. Pretty much sums it up. It is pretty simple to do, once you find the link that you need.
I deleted my facebook account and I feel great. One simple reason: I realized I had no use for it. I realized that as I was talking to my brother. It just suddenly dawned upon me that I was just mindlessly wasting my time on this social network. I realized that I never really needed facebook. Many people quote that in “this increasingly busy” world it is harder and harder to stay connected with people. That is what they say. They also say that it is almost a necessity to have facebook.
I disagree.
Facebook is and always was a cheap substitute to real communication. Instead of calling somebody and saying “Hi” we stalk them on facebook and leave a 5 second comment here and there. Instead of meeting our “friends” in person and sharing the experience of a journey, we just put the pictures up on facebook and let others click through them. Instead of sending a personal invite or an actual gift, we send electronic invites and electronic gifts (which costs money!). Instead of asking a girl/guy out in person or over the phone, we instead “poke” them on facebook. Instead of calling somebody to wish a Happy Birthday we just leave a wall post. Instead …
This could on forever. The point is this: facebook encourages superficial and insincere communication. So what that we have hundreds of friends on facebook. Do we really keep in touch with them all? Do our “friends” just become another news feed item that gets lost amongst a hundred others? In the end, you are just cheating yourself.
What about the emotional energy that you spend over facebook: the privacy settings, the changing user interface, the dislike button and so on. Is it really worth spending your time and energy being upset about those things? And what about reading those overly negative status updates of people you barely know? What about people fighting over their relationship status on facebook? What about losing jobs over something you did or said over facebook? What about the possiblity of you being harassed by a criminal?
I had enough of that and that is why I decided to delete my account.
Now, I do not have to worry about either of those things. Now, I will know who my true friends are because they will call me or send me an e-mail if they will want to meet up. It’s a great way to eliminate dead-weight from your life. People have and always will appreciate a call, a sincere letter or an e-mail. Sure, we can all say that we are “increasingly busy”, but to me that’s bunch of nonsense.
If you do not have enough time to stay in touch with your friends through a phone call or an in person meeting, then you might have you priorities all wrong in your life. Think about it. Since when did relationships were pushed back into the background of our “busy” lives? It’s time to change that and remember what matters and ditch the deceptively “useful” technological tools.
If you want to establish a presence online and still keep your private life private, then there are plenty of other tools to consider. For your professional career, you might want to consider joining LinkedIn and as a tool for your personal expression and creativity consider blogging. Using only those two powerful tools, you will be able to create a strong and powerful image of yourself online, while keeping your private life private and your relationships deep.
I am sure some of you find facebook extremely useful and that is fine. The point here is to become aware of how the use of technology is affecting your life and really deciding if it is right for you.
Question: Do you have a facebook?
22 Comments
I have a facebook account but I really don’t use it. I rarely update my status (probably 2 times in two years) I live it there for receiving messages (again, twice a year) from old friends but I could delete it as well.
Hey Oscar:
That’s exactly how I felt. I felt like I was holding to facebook just because I was doing it for so long, not because I had any use for it. Until it finally clicked to just get rid of it :) I might tie in perfectly with the article that I am going to write soon :)
Best,
Tomas
Some people get into Facebook because the gurus tell you have to, and some people get into Facebook because is what everybody is doing.
I don’t have an account and when, sometime ago, considered the posibility I quickly dropped the idea after seeing that lots of emails arrive saying someone wants to be your friend and they didn’t even know or thought about sending such email; it is all Facebook robots trying to create a network while invading people’s privacy. No thanks!
Our parents had a wonderful life without social sites, cell phones, email, internet, etc. They took care of friendship as you mention and without the need of this “must have” technology.
It is something that helps but we must have a clear vision of what is useful and a tool to do more, and what is just commerce from the companies.
Raul
Raul:
Truly great comment! You pretty much sum it up there :) It is true that people just forget why they do things and just go on doing them because (like you said) everybody else is. Technology is useful, yet it seems that we have become slaves to the technology as opposed to the other way around.
It is funny, how people create technologies that are supposed to free up our time and make our lives less stressful. Yet, most of the time it does pretty much the opposite. Irony…
Thanks for another visit!
Best,
Tomas
Hi,
I am a regular reader of this blog and find the thoughts expressed here are just wonderful and worth pondering about.
But this time i absolutely disagree.
If we want to discontinue all our social connection via the modern channels available to us, then why only Facebook? It should rather apply to a bunch of services and mediums we use in our day-to-day life like mobiles,emails,blogs etc. If its all about meeting up friends and relatives and say ‘Hi’ then we should discard all other available mediums.. don’t you think so?
I would rather like to mark our day to day life as “Competitive” and not “Busy”. We are driven by the fact of “Survival of fittest” and not that we just want to get Busy in our work.
Think life as a “200″ meters or a Medium Sprint Medley. Its this time “25 Yrs to 40 Yrs” we can put in all our strength and work hard to make our near and dear ones smile throughout their life. And during this time if we don’t want to loose touch with our friends or long distant relatives we have to resort to such mediums as FaceBook etc.
Why don’t we just consider it as a boon of technology instead of some unwanted intruder?
Ok lets be realistic: What about a friend of yours who has lost touch for a couple of years and does not have your cell number or address,wants to drop by and say “Hi”. The only medium he has is through all these magical passages called “social networking cites”.
What about you want some specific information on some community or you want to keep yourself updated on some topic. You want to ensure that you attend your school Alumni party? You want to share your joy with your photographs with all your friends?
“Social Networking” is the in thing now, and we can’t do without it. Be it Job searching or finding your long lost school lecturer…
I would like to add that these are my perspective and i love reading the blogs here. Because of the unique thoughts expressed in this site i have subscribed to it and i enjoy every bit of reading it.
Cheers,
Ags.
Dear Ags:
Thank you for an awesome comment and supportive and appreciative words! It means a lot to me! It shows me that I am going in the right direction.
Now, back to your comment.
I need clarify a couple of things. I am not against technology or modern ways of communicating (after all, I do maintain a blog ;) ). I do not feel that technology has to be an “either or” option. There are options and we have choices. Yet, too many people do not choose, they just follow. I chose not to use facebook anymore, just like some people chose to eat fruits or vegetables. This particular social tool was destructive to my life and I usually discard bad things and never look back.
There are plenty of other great social networking site that do serve a purpose of enhancing interpersonal communication instead of replacing it.
Competitive vs busy? You might have something there, but I do not entirely agree. I still believe that life does not have to be about “either or” choices. If work hard enough and make the right choices then we might have enough resources to support our loved ones and actually have enough time to spend with them. But I do understand where you are coming from.
In the end, it is all about realizing that we have options and that we do not have to compromise our lives. I still believe that if people think you are important enough, they will make time and a find a way to get in touch with you no matter what :) Just my two cents!
Thank you for giving me food for thought!
Best,
Tomas
Deleting a Facebook account is a good step in decluttering your life from modern junk. Like Oscar I have a FB account but I do not use it. But I’ll still keep it because I am not burdened by it.
All my friends live in different countries now and talking over the phone is pretty expensive and because of the time difference Skype is not always the best solution either. When I do log into my FB account I can post a few photos that all my friends can see without sending emails to each and every of them (that is a terrible waste of time.)
I must also admit that when some old friends of yours finds you on FB I get excited. It is interesting to see what is going on in the person’s life because there is no way how we could meet in person.
FB has its advantages but this is our choice how we use them. If you get addicted to this social media and spend all your free time there, if you cannot pass up any message that has been sent your way or any of those silly “gifts” (I still do not get them), any poll or any friend suggestion then you are in trouble. And then you need serious measures like deleting your account. In this case I absolutely agree with your post.
Other than that Facebook and I live two different lives and our paths cross only every couple of months. I feel comfortable about it.
Dear Anastasiya:
That’s exactly the reason why I did not call name this article: “Why YOU should delete your facebook account?” To me, it made sense to delete it because it was not serving the purpose that it was supposed to.
I can see why you would continue using facebook based on the reasons above. Yet, I would still have to argue that I am fan of quality over quantity. Losing a couple of “friends” only proves the strength of your relationship after all. One thing that facebook did for me was this: it removed the element of surprise and mystery from life.
I enjoy not knowing where I am going and what my friends are doing at all times. I like being surprised once in a while :)
It seems that the reason why you keep facebook is because you are comfortable with it. I was not. Hence the outcome. It is glad that you are able to use for what it’s worth.
Thank for the visit!
Best,
Tomas
I deleted mine last month and it’s been great. Part of it was to test people and see who my ‘real’ friends were and part of it is because I was fed up with the fake lives people were projecting on it. They often made it look like their life was fabulous when in fact it was nothing special, which is fine by me. They end up talking about things that are totally irrelevant and useless to me (tv programs etc…).
It is indeed a waste of time and I find myself much more productive since then!
Dear Alexia:
You make a good point here. People started using facebook to create this fake “celebrity status” and inflate their sense of self worth when in reality their life is no better than the next persons.
I am glad you were able to make this decision for yourself and rediscover that online presence can be overwhelming at times!
Best,
Tomas
Related writing on the subject, this one in Santa Clara University’s weekly undergraduate newspaper that I occasionally read. Article is titled: “… and I am addicted to Facebook”, by Tatiana Sanchez. Web address of that article follows:
http://media.www.thesantaclara.com/media/storage/paper946/news/2010/02/18/Opinion/.And-I.Am.Addicted.To.Facebook-3874626.shtml?reffeature=recentlycommentedstoriestab
(Excerpt) “They say the first step toward curing an addiction is admitting you have a problem. Today may be a perfect day to change, but for me, it’s just another day in the life of a Facebook addict.”
The author of this opinion section article has written humorously about the heavy impact that FB has everyday in her life as a college student
Myself, I keep an inactive Facebook account for my blog, just as a holding marker.
..
Dear QwkDrw:
Thank you for sharing the article. It’s interesting how she admits having a problem, yet at the same time she is alright with it. It is indeed funny and sad, because when I went to college I saw what she describes day and day out. Anywhere and everywhere I went, I would see the phenomenon described in her article. Facebooking is the new addiction it seems and everybody’s okay with it.
I am glad that you have your facebook account under control, keep it up!
Best,
Tomas
Very good post. I can’t believe I will not longer be able to find you on facebook :P
Just kidding. I can always find you via phone of course.
I loved some of the comments and believe that one other person would share my take on facebook. I use it to mainly reconnect with friends who are thousands of miles aways. Yes, I could do a long distance call or try to find a “right” time to chat with them on skype. Yes, I could write an email to them and update on what’s new and ask how they are doing.
IT ALL CAN BE DONE WITHOUT FACEBOOK. However, as we evolve, the technology around us also evolves. Indeed some of that technological evolution is just a noise that screams for a few years and then guts shut away and buried by newer noises that arise.
However, consider this for a moment: I think that we have more friends than our parents have, I also do think that our friends are more scattered around the world than the friends our parents have. And it’s precisely because of the technological innovations that we are able to keep in contact with a greater number of people than the previous generations were able to.
So this point should justify why social networks such as facebook help us achieve certain goals, such as easily keeping up with increasing number of contacts.
At the same time, it takes me to the following point: do we need more contacts and friends to “evolve”? Now that is a matter of a completely separate discussion. It might even be worth a full blog entry ;) (hint, hint) I remember at some point reading some research that looked into the number of contacts that people can keep track of. That number is limited and I guarantee you it’s lower than the number of friends we have on facebook. It’s an interesting sociological and psychological discussion that we should continue to unravel.
So in summary, I do think that Facebook provides value, but only to those who know what they want to get out of it. Unfortunately, to many people it is an addictive tool that seriously impacts their live as they stalk-away their days by browsing people’s profiles (i’ve done it too). But like anything else, it’s a matter of control. If you are able to control what value you get from facebook, then you can take advantage of using facebook purposefully.
What do you think?
Hey Karolis:
Great comment. Very well written and very clear and with great content.
Here are my thoughts on your position. It is ultimately a matter of control. Yet, there enough things in our lives over which we need to exercise control, why burden ourselves with another “tool”, which requires extra energy to control?
I also I understand that if I know what I want from facebook, then I can really turn into a great tool. Yet, coming back to one of the points that you made: noise. Precisely because of that “noise” on facebook, it becomes difficult to use it and can lead to frustration.Not to mention the fact, that the majority of people do not use facebook for what it could be, instead they use it as a platform to brag and boast about themselves without a real desire to connect with others.
Which brings me to the concept of network externalities. Originally facebook enjoyed positive network externalities: the more people joined, the more value everybody gained. However, over time facebook started showing signs of negative network externalities: the more people joined, the less valuable it became. It was not only the number of people that were using that was a problem, it was the way they were using, not to mention the fact of how facebook itself uses it (talking about privacy, advertising, etc).
Moreover, you pointed the research which was done. It actually said that the maximum amount of people that we can maintain meaningful interactions with is somewhere around 150. How many do you have? I used to have 600+ facebook friends, yet I can only keep in touch with some many. To me superficial interactions are just not worth it. Why have an interaction which adds no value to your life?
It is essentially, a matter of personal choice, but I have answered and touched upon the issues which you raised. So thank you for that.
Best,
Tomas
P.S. Thank you for a great article idea!
I loved the article!! It’s about time someone articulated a life truth: we are becoming a tremendously superficial society/culture.
I have a FaceBook page that I use as a tool to connect with women with whom I went to school. Once I find them, or am found by them, I can initiate email exchanges, which makes for more depth.
I also appreciated your notice of the fact that your “real” friends were being drowned in posts about your blog, which was not your real intent. I applaud you for making that connection, and for acting upon it.
I “found” you through your guest post at GoodLife Zen. Now I’m a subscriber. Please keep up the great content!
Trece
Dear Trece:
WELCOME and Thank you! I am honored to have you as a reader (an active one at that :)). I am inspired by your comment and I am dedicated to keep writing great content and keep pushing myself to deliver more quality thoughts and suggestions.
Best,
Tomas
I deleted my facebook for the final time yesterday, and feel great about it. The main reason I deleted it as I no longer needed it, as I have my friends emails, phone numbers, and in most cases, both. Add to that the fact that I was becoming addicted, and it was time to say farewell facebook my old friend, our time has come to an end.
Jess:
It was my exact same reasoning for deleting my facebook account. Congratulations!!!
Best,
Tomas
I can so totally relate to this comment. I firmly believe social networking, texting, chatting, have devalued interpersonal communication with others, including private relationships. They are nothing by places to hide behind a false persona. Because of these also, your personal relationships under your own roof are put at the back of the line for the sake of strangers. People are afraid to talk to each other in real life, but it is so easy to lie, cheat, steal and be deceptive in a chat room. Sad, and this is called progress? I think not.
Technology is just a tool and the way people use it can all the difference in the world. Some use it to cheat and deceive and others use to enhance communication. Also, it is important to find what works for you and what makes you happy. Just because options are there does not mean that we have to take them!
Well said. Facebook is a pointless exercise in mindless cyber-communication. Or, to put it another way, a massive information harvesting exercise for Mr Zuckerman – at our expense. It is not real communication, but a clear example of a process designed to be addictive to the user, so that those behind the scenes can get rich at every click of our mouse.
Facebook, and similar blogging sites are really exercises in list building. How sad it is to believe mistakenly that a random list on a screen can somehow truly be a ‘friend’! And yet I have witnessed relatively ‘sane’ human beings actually competing over the acquisition and building of such lists, and getting ‘upset’ if one of the list removes themselves – as if someone had died!
More than this though, it is the sheer ‘determinist’ nature of the design. It is deliberately made to appeal to the lowest common denominator and this explains not only the banality of much of the communication and content, but also the content that is hate filled, racist, extremist and generally unpalatable – no doubt justifed by Mr Zuckerman as ‘freedom of speech’. The question is, do we really want our children exposed to this addictive process and kind of material?
I suspect the longterm business plan for Facebook is to appeal to the young, (like smoking), and get them addicted young. In this sense, the turn-over of older users, who come and go, or who view Facebook as an invasion of privacy, are viewed very much as a ‘loss leader’. Social networks are, as you say, a mere reflection of reality, and in no way ‘are’ reality. I was actually talking to family members on Facebook, whilst we were all in different rooms in the same house!
Thank you
Dear Red Metta:
It is a very interesting angle that you are taking on facebook as a list building device.
You make many good points about facebook and it’s overly extended uses for information acquisition. However, the only thing that is making facebook strong are the people who are using it. They are the only ones giving value to the site.
Many of individuals using it, seem to be completely happy with it or even if they do complain, they do not have the desire to follow through with quitting facebook and returning to “normal” means of communication.
Facebook became famous because it allowed people to share pictures, posts, and what else have you privately, isolated from the eyes of everybody else. Over time it changed and evolved into something else and many people just had so much vested in it, that quitting was definitely not something they were willing to do.
In this day and age, information is the most valued resource and many of us are giving it away for free.
Thank you for your great comment!
Tomas