Right and wrong do not exist in the eyes of the universe. Right and wrong are the constructs of human mind, which makes them automatically biased and subjective. That makes it difficult to define it and even harder to discuss it. But, I have not set out to define what wrong or right is. I have set out to talk about what wrong or evil represents or what it means.

I can draw the best parallels to wrong or evil with pain. What exactly is pain? How would do you define it? It is tough. Yet, we know why it exists. Pain warns us when there is something wrong, when something is not working harmoniously. When we get hurt emotionally or physically, it hurts. Only because it hurts we know that what happened was damaging to our well being. Pain is simply a form of information telling us that we are going against the grain.

Evil is similar to pain. It exists for a reason. The mere existence of it informs us, that our society has long ways to go before we all live in harmony. Evil or wrong doing is not an inherent human characteristic. Many times circumstances “force” people to act in a ways that damage the fabric of the human kind. The real question then is why do those circumstances exist that create incentives for people to do wrong.

The best answer to that question is that our society is very imperfect.  The number of crimes can be a very good indicator of how well the society as a whole is doing in living peacefully together. So instead of looking at people who do wrong as if there is something wrong with them, let us look at why they did what they did because that is the true cause of the evil.

It is easy to lock people up and put them to jail, but it is important to realize that targeting individuals is not going help. In a way, they are just victims to the circumstances, in which any other person might have reached a similar course of action. So the real solution to eliminating evil in the world is not the elimination of criminals, but the elimination of the root causes of evil, which give rise to wrong doing: poverty, hunger, inequality, etc.

Those are the real driving forces behind the evil acts committed by humans. Now, I am not saying that individuals do not have choice over their actions and that they should not be punished. I am not saying. What I am saying is that punishing criminals is scratching the surface.It is like taking pain killers to eliminate the pain instead of treating the root cause of the problem.

Rarely, if ever we dig down deeper to understand other people actions and motivations and try to eliminate those incentives, which allowed the negativity to flourish.

_____________

Image Source: Ghetu Daniel

We, human beings, like predictability and we resist to change. Predictability eliminates uncertainty, which in turn makes our lives comfortable and easy. Change, on the other hand, creates uncertainty and fear. Naturally, predictability and change has their own trade offs. Predictability costs us growth and change creates growth. Nothing in life is free.

The nature of life however is change and uncertainty.

Already, there is a conflict. We like predictable, life gives us uncertainty. So, we try to predict life and we try to predict and anticipate change. Throughout human history, we tried to come up with theories, which would predict the ever changing reality. In my opinion, we did not do such a good job at it.

In particular, I am going to discuss economics and finance. Each of those sciences are crucial to the development and prosperity of human life on earth. They both deal with resource allocation, distribution and use. More so, they both try to predict the future and eliminate uncertainty and risk as much possible from our lives. And that is great. However, there flaws, of which the costs are unknown.

Predictability requires structure. Reality is not structured. Yet, both economics and finance repeatedly provide us with theories that are very structured and rigid. They are not dynamic. One reason for that is because they rely on mathematics to prove their theories and observations. Mathematics is, for the most part, the structured and rigid science. That in itself, limits the kinds of assumptions the economists and financiers can make about the reality and resources around us.

That almost forces them to use theories that rely on unrealistic assumptions, which have no basis in reality. For example, the assumption that individuals are rational; or the assumption that we all behave in a uniform fashion. The list could go on. It almost seams that the most brilliant minds try to squeeze a dynamic reality in a structured theory and just come up with various assumptions to make their theories work and fit their mathematical models. And that is all fine, however, the problems begin when policies and laws are put into place, which rely on those unrealistic theories.

And that is a huge problem. If you base policies for a dynamic and ever changing life based on rigid and mathematically based theories, you are headed for a disaster.

The most recent financial crisis has showed us the true effect of that. Are markets self-regulating? Are humans rational? Do we all work in our own interest? Do we make the best decisions for us? Those are just some of the questions that economics and finance try to answer and come with theories to explain.

The worlds brightest minds make mistakes in the pursuit of predictability. But you don’t have to do that. Ultimately it comes down to thinking on your own and just looking around your own reality and deciding if the theories that you have come up with match what is going on.

It is alright to make assumptions, which simply things with a reasonable amount of error, however, beware of making assumptions, which not just simplify, but distort the very phenomenon you are trying to explain. Maybe, if we all just accepted that life is complex and dynamic and not predictable, but ever changing and in flux, we would be living in much different, better world.

The above question is much important and relevant than it has ever been. The issue of giving your power away might be the underlying cause of the current financial crisis. Let me explain.

Others have only as much power as we choose to give them. Your government, your boss, your girlfriend, your children, your co-workers, your friends, your enemies have only as much power as we choose to give them. In essence, power is about choice. Under normal circumstances, nobody can make you do anything against your will.

You can and should do things you enjoy, and shouldn’t do things that are against what you stand for. Yet, life is not that simple. Many people don’t know what they enjoy or what is good for them. There is a good reason for it. The life and information is complex and it takes time to understand it.

For example, you may know that you like strawberries, walks in the park, rock, and playing basketball. In situations concerning the above mentioned items, you should be able to make up your mind quickly and should state your preference. Yet, chances are any of the above activities are not going to have a huge impact in your life.

What about the following situations: do you buy or do you rent a house? is this really healthy? where should I invest? is this person/friend right for me? where should I go to school? All of the above situations represent really important, possibly life changing choices.

Suprizingly enough, it seems that the more important the decision the more people seem to give their power away and let others decide it. Others might  include your banker, your investment adviser, your friend, your parents, your mortgage originator, your doctor. These are the people that we call experts. They know, or should know what is going on.

So we trust them. We give our power away and let them decide what is best for us. The main reason is that the issues that your banker, doctor, etc seem to be dealing are so complex that we do not want to invest our time  in learning of what really is going on behind the scenes.

Yes, the so called experts might really know what is going on, but it does not mean that they will tell you or even want to tell you. It might be against their self-interest to do so. That creates information asymmetries, where the consumer knows less than the producer of the information.  That puts you in the tough spot, where you cannot really trust the experts.

In today’s world driven by profits, the conflicts of interest are plenty. The conflicts of interests is precisely what caused the financial crisis. That is why it is more important than ever to not blindly give your decision making power away. The best way to do that is to educate yourself about the issue at hand, so that you are confident about the decision that you are making.

After reading “Freefall” by Joseph Stiglitz, I realized that the prices of certain goods are way understated (some are grossly overstated).Price distortion is a serious issue, which has a huge effect on our consumption of goods. For example if diamonds where really cheap, everybody would probably have a pair. In essence, if prices are understated, it accelerates the consumption of a good and increases the rate of externalities.

I am talking about two types of goods in particular: nonrenewable resources and goods the result in negative externalities.

The first item is of utmost importance: nonrenewable resources such as oil, gas, coal, fresh water, etc. The underlying principle of economics is scarcity. People have unlimited needs and wants and there are only limited resources. To be exact, only some resources are limited, many of them are surprisingly almost limitless if managed right.

However, oil, gas, fresh water, coal and so existed in finite amount on Earth. They are non renewable in the relevant time frame. That is they will renew, but by the time do, people might not be around anymore. In essence, there is a fixed supply of nonrenewable resources.

Yet, the prices of today’s markets reflect prices that almost imply that nonrenewable resources are really renewable. Price is determined by the supply and demand forces in the market. The only problem is that they reflect only current equilibrium of demand and supply. The reality of nonrenewable resources is that the supply is constantly decreasing and the demand is constantly increasing. Moreover, the prices do not take into consideration the future demand of nonrenewable resources, which is bound to increase.

If the prices of nonrenewable resources where reflected correctly and would reflect the the future demand for goods and actually reflect their scarcity, the prices of oil, coal, and so on would spike dramatically severely limited the demand for those goods. Let us examine oil.

We already saw what happens when the oil prices go up. It actually turned out to be a pretty good thing. It sparked a wave of innovation of technology, reconsideration of people driving habits and a huge push towards research of “green resources”. However, the spike was not sustained and people seem to have gone about their business usual.

It is my view that the the real reflection of prices of nonrenewable resources would spark even further innovation, development of public transportation, more efficient, less energy consuming consumer goods, and would curb over consumption and would bring people back to reality of this world.

The next type of good I wanted to talk about is goods that result in negative externalities. Which means that the existence of certain services and goods cost to the society much more than it is perceived to be. Moreover, the companies and individuals that engage in those activities do not bear the full cost of their activities. For example, let us take a look at tobacco companies.

Producing cigarettes is very cheap. Yet, they produce a product that kills people in the form of cancer and other diseases. Yet, I am yet to see tobacco companies bear the full responsibility of their product and pay for cancer treatments and other hospital bills, which is an externality, which is not reflected in the price of cigarettes.

Sure, the state taxes tobacco companies, but where does that revenue go to? Does it go towards the treatment of the patience with cancer, which they got from smoking, which has been proven to be addictive and lethal on top of that? I do not think so. The state just keeps the money and does not spend it purposefully to treat the patients that need the most help.

If the full cost of the existence of tobacco companies were to be taken into the consideration, I doubt that those companies would be even able to exist. I think they would simply go bancrupt as the demand for cigareets would drop dramatically, or they just could not keep up with the actual cost of cigarettess, which would now include paying for the hospital bills of its users.

It only makes sense to me that companies that produce harmful products should be forced to bear the full cost of their activities. For example, if you buy a car and it breaks down because of a manufacturing defect, then the company is liable. Same thing should go for any other companies of which the use of their products results in costs to its users or matter of fact society as whole.

In conclusion, if prices reflected the actual demand and supply and actual costs of products, the world would be a better place to live.

Sometimes we just make the wrong decisions. Sometimes we become shortsighted and focus only at the things that are the most convenient and most pleasant at the moment. Some of us even confuse that with “being in the moment”. All of the above simply means that we are discomfort averse individuals.

We seek out pleasure and try to avoid discomfort. Inherently there is nothing wrong with that. However, if you look deeper into that all sorts of problems rise to the surface.

Seeking out pleasure and comfort while avoiding discomfort is a form of procrastination. Procrastination is like robbing yourself in the future. It is like taking a credit on your future and your goals and never really working to pay it off. It is like cheating yourself.

If we continuously borrow against our future, then eventually we will have to pay the price as we cannot postpone discomfort forever. More importantly, discomfort forces us to grow and change and progress. Comfort in a sense kills progress and joy of learning in life.

But the real question is why we act like that? One possible answer, as it is proposed by Joseph Stiglitz, is that we lack vision in our lives. We do not know where we are going, we never think of our or others future beyond today. Without vision, our values are useless. If we do not know where we are going, even the best compass in the world will not help us get there.

Without a vision our lives become bland and boring. We lose interest in life. Vision is not simply a goal to achieve. Vision is desire to change, it is a vision of positive change for yourself and those around you. If you do not have a vision to guide your life, your daily actions will lack direction, passion and drive.

But how do we “get” vision? I think it starts with curiosity and a  desire to overcome a challenge. Vision starts with a desire to become a positive role model for others. Visions starts with a desire to do good and change the world for the better. If we do nothing to contribute to the well being of others, then what is the purpose of us living on this earth?

No, we are not mean to merely exist on this planet. Our life only has meaning in the context of other individuals, human beings. Without others, there would be no reason for us to exist. Yet, over and over again, individualism is drilled into our heads.

Then we become so overly concerned with ourselves, that our life loses meaning because we forget that our life alone is meaningless. Others give meaning to our life. Maybe it is about time, for America and the world to stop focusing on individualism as much and promote social values that bind and bring people together as one unit.

Indeed house divided falls. But what happens when the house is divided into hundreds of millions of individual pieces? It is even surprising that some parts of the world have not fallen apart just yet.

Having a vision means being concerned not only for yourself but for those around you. Having a vision will cure you of the disease of the shortsightedness. It will help you make the right decisions, and stop robbing yourself and others of a bright future.

What is your vision? What is your drive?

This topic has been on my mind for the last few months. If I were to write it any other time before today, the article would have sounded just like anything else you have ever read before.It would have been about how one should not give away their power and how to make the choices for yourself. It would have been about the ability say “No!” to others as a way of maintaining control over your actions. It would have been about how control over your own actions can bring happiness to your life.

That is exactly the reason why I did not write anything.It is just more of the same old.It is everything everybody has heard before.

More importantly, it might be wrong.

There is nothing worse than misinformation that leads to false expectations, which result in unhappiness. Until today, I held a dare belief that the more control we have over our lives, the happier we are. I believed that we should make our own choices and decide our own destinies no matter what. I believed that until today. I thought that it was the only way to happiness. I believed and I was willing to say so to others.

Today, I realized how wrong I was.

That is exactly the reason why I want to share my newly found understand about control with the rest of you. The inspiration for my newly found knowledge comes from the book “The Art of Choosing”. As it turns out some people actually prefer not to have control over their lives. Yes, you heard it right. Some people prefer to have others make their decisions for them. What is even more interesting is that some people are even happier when they do not have to make decisions for themselves in many aspects of their life. That particular statement almost flipped my world upside down.

It possible once again that less is more and more is less? Is it another obvious truth that we have overlook in the Western societies?

We are lead to believe that more choice is better, that control over your life is good without even considering that fact that those statements are not absolute truths. It is almost like imposing a “one size fits all” approach to happiness. At first glance, it seems to make perfect sense. The more control you, the more choices you can make for yourself and therefore you can create the life that you really want. It does make perfect sense, but not to everybody.

That statement seems to ignore the fact that there are different people who might not want to be completely in control of their lives. It makes a basic premise that we all like control. However, it is not the case. As it turns out, depending on your childhood, your upbringing and your community you might prefer to have less control over your life and be just fine with it. Now, image being a person who prefers subconsciously to have less control in their life over their actions, but living in a society where control and personal choice are being forced down your throat. You might turn out to be very unhappy without even knowing why.

You might end up blaming yourself for being weird or different; and you might even go as far as to say that there is something wrong with you. Nevertheless, the society is just being inconsiderate of your differences. Being in control or not being in control of your own life is neither good nor bad. The old saying “To each his/her own” is as true as ever.

It is only my hope that this knowledge will help you understand others better and appreciate their differences more. It is my hope that you will think twice before imposing your own worldview onto others and realize that even some of the “truths” are just widely held beliefs that vary from culture to culture, country to country, town to town, and person to person.

________________

Image: sacrifice_87

I deleted my facebook account. Pretty much sums it up. It is pretty simple to do, once you find the link that you need.

I deleted my facebook account and I feel great. One simple reason: I realized I had no use for it. I realized that as I was talking to my brother. It just suddenly dawned upon me that I was just mindlessly wasting my time on this social network. I realized that I never really needed facebook. Many people quote that in “this increasingly busy” world it is harder and harder to stay connected with people. That is what they say. They also say that it is almost a necessity to have facebook.

I disagree.

Facebook is and always was a cheap substitute to real communication. Instead of calling somebody and saying “Hi” we stalk them on facebook and leave a 5 second comment here and there. Instead of meeting our “friends” in person and sharing the experience of a journey, we just put the pictures up on facebook and let others click through them. Instead of sending a personal invite or an actual gift, we send electronic invites and electronic gifts (which costs money!). Instead of asking a girl/guy out in person or over the phone, we instead “poke” them on facebook. Instead of calling somebody to wish a Happy Birthday we just leave a wall post. Instead …

This could on forever. The point is this: facebook encourages superficial and insincere communication. So what that we have hundreds of friends on facebook. Do we really keep in touch with them all? Do our “friends” just become another news feed item that gets lost amongst a hundred others? In the end, you are just cheating yourself.

What about the emotional energy that you spend over facebook: the privacy settings, the changing user interface, the dislike button and so on. Is it really worth spending your time and energy being upset about those things? And what about reading those overly negative status updates of people you barely know? What about people fighting over their relationship status on facebook? What about losing jobs over something you did or said over facebook? What about the possiblity of you being harassed by a criminal?

I had enough of that and that is why I decided to delete my account.

Now, I do not have to worry about either of those things. Now, I will know who my true friends are because they will call me or send me an e-mail if they will want to meet up. It’s a great way to eliminate dead-weight from your life. People have and always will appreciate a call, a sincere letter or an e-mail. Sure, we can all say that we are “increasingly busy”, but to me that’s bunch of nonsense.

If you do not have enough time to stay in touch with your friends through a phone call or an in person meeting, then you might have you priorities all wrong in your life. Think about it. Since when did relationships were pushed back into the background of our “busy” lives? It’s time to change that and remember what matters and ditch the deceptively “useful” technological tools.

If you want to establish a presence online and still keep your private life private, then there are plenty of other tools to consider. For your professional career, you might want to consider joining LinkedIn and as a tool for your personal expression and creativity consider blogging. Using only those two powerful tools, you will be able to create a strong and powerful image of yourself online, while keeping your private life private and your relationships deep.

I am sure some of you find facebook extremely useful and that is fine. The point here is to become aware of how the use of technology is affecting your life and really deciding if it is right for you.

Question: Do you have a facebook?

America is going downhill for one very simple reason: people seem to not be able to tell the difference between the disease and its symptoms. It almost seems to be common wisdom for people to think that treating a symptom of a disease is the same as treating a disease. In short, if the symptoms do not longer show up, the disease is gone. It’s a mental dis-ease, but nobody seems to think much of it. It almost seems like people are brainwashed into believing into the above truth.

It works so well because of one reason – convenience. America is obsessed with convenience and comfort. The more of it – the better. And for every obsession there are those that cater to it. Except there is one simple thing that is wrong with comfort – it makes you weak. One person at a time it makes a nation weak. We can already see the results of this destructive thinking.

PROBLEM: America is getting increasingly dumb. This is a tough one to swallow, but it is the truth. Instead of increasing the education standards and making students study and think, we lower those standards. Everybody seems to get higher GPAs, pass tests with highers scores and everybody seems to do better.

All of that at the cost of learning and knowing less.

More and more people are going to college with lower quality education. Educational institutions are more concerned about taking a dollar from you or the government than about admitting quality students, which are increasingly rear.In the process, the schools get paid, the private loan companies get paid and the students get screwed.

In the end, you have college graduates who know and do less than high school graduates in less developed countries than the USA. Everybody is so focused on satisfying people’s egos and avoiding hurting their feelings in the short term that they forget that they are hurting not only the individual, but the nation as whole in the long term.

SOLUTION: Increase the standards of education on all levels and let kids fail. We just have to understand that the purpose of an education system is to teach, and not to give passing grades for kids who don’t try. Only by failing you learn. In a sense, we need to deflate the educational system. So what if that students will be getting lower grades? That is not the purpose of education. Education is supposed to be challenging and difficult so that when we come out of school we are actually know a thing or two. Overtime, the students would get used to higher education standards and everybody would be fine. If you ask for more you get for more, if you ask for less then you get less.

PROBLEM: America is getting increasingly unhealthy. It is the results of people reaching out for the pill, falling prey to false advertising about quick weight loss diets and constantly looking for the easy way out. Instead of making the life long choices about their nutrition and exercise, people focus on the quick fix. Even in this day and age where information is abundant, advertising and the dream of the shortcuts seems to get the best of us.

It is convenient.

It is convenient for the food industry, the pharmaceutical industry, the fitness industry, the health-care industry, the insurance industry. Finally, it is convenient for the consumer. Yet, the consumers are the ones who end up complaining about increasing health-case costs. If you haven’t lived under a rock, then you should have heard about the health care reform that is trying to take place. Yet, it is all BS. Reforming the health care system for an unhealthy nation is the same as lowering taxes for the poor.

SOLUTION:Education. Teach people about nutrition and exercise from an early age. Make fitness classes mandatory and physically challenging. Teach people from young age about how to make the right choices about their nutrition and exercise. That is all there is needed to create a healthier and happier America.

That will automatically lower the cost of health-care.

The health care right now is expensive for a reason: there are tons of unhealthy people. That automatically raises the insurance costs because more and more people are falling in the increased risk group. The focus should on prevention of disease, rather than the superficial treatment of it later. It’s no rocket science, and it bothers me seeing people not solving the problem the right way.

In the end, it is all about making the right decisions. However, it is hard to learn how to make the right decisions when nobody around you is making the right decisions.

So in the end, it all comes down to education, experience and values.

The state where America is today is reflective of it’s education, experience and values. That is the real disease – lack of all three. If we were only focused on helping people make the right choices and showing them how to make the right choices, we would not have nearly as many problems as we do today. It is funny, how a nation with so many resources and so much potential can end up in state like this.

What about you? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you treating the disease instead of the symptoms? Answer that go ahead; you might be surprised with what you find. Remember, one person at a time, a nation can become stronger or weaker. It is up to you.

In essence this article is about the power of words. To be more specific it is about branding.

It seems that branding is the new kid on the block that everybody talks about. It really is worth our attention for that exact reason.

Brands can be used for positive or negative purposes. On the positive side, brands help us make  better decisions and save us time and money in the long run. On the negative side, it can lead us to making bad decisions and costing us time and money. It can have positive impact for both producers and consumers of the image.

I am going to examine the following four scenarios using real life examples:

• a brand having a positive impact on a producer of a brand
• a brand having a positive impact on a consumer of a brand
• a brand having a negative impact on a producer of a brand
• a brand having a negative impact on a consumer of a brand

I am going to look at the case of Mac vs. PC as it seems illustrate the positive and negative effects of branding on both consumer and producers the best. Also, everybody should be very familiar with the ongoing battle between a Mac and a PC :)

Microsoft vs. Apple

For years, Microsoft has dominated the software market with Windows. Because of the dominance, it was able to monopolize the market and reap substantial profits. When it came to making a choice, you probably did not even think about it twice and just bought Windows. The name of Microsoft on the software made the decision easy.

On the other hand, for years Apple was suffering because of a bad reputation it had. Buying a Mac did not even cross anybody’s mind when choosing an operating system. Apple was clearly experiencing the negative effects of branding.

In the mean while, consumers were at the whim of Microsoft. When it made a good version of Windows, everybody was happy. Companies were saving money and time, consumers were happy with the product and the decision that they made. However, at times Microsoft would make products such as Windows Millennium or Windows Vista, which made the businesses and consumers want to just drop Microsoft products and never look at them again.

Yet, we were the ones making a decision on buying the products because of the established brand.

Then, Apple made a turnaround. Someway, somehow it made it’s way back to consumer’s minds and Microsoft finally had some serious competition to the Windows OS. Because of the brand image that the Apple started building, many people switched to Macs. They started thinking twice before just buying a PC with Windows on it. And so, Apple was doing great for last couple of years. It introduced products such as iPod, iPhone and so on. People were buying them like hot pancakes, not thinking about it twice. In this case, the Apple was winning big.

It seemed like consumer would just buy anything that Apple made. A very similar story to Microsoft’s. Regardless of how much benefit the product actually had, people just bought it.

For that exact reason, Microsoft and Apple became comfortable with their brands and started producing half baked products, which hurt many consumers financially. If you are thinking Microsoft, think Vista; if you are thinking Apple think iPad and countless versions of iPod.

Lessons Learned

When we benefited it was because of branding. When we were hurt it was because of branding. There is an important lesson to be learned here.

Companies and the products that they produce change. Yet, the image the we have of that brand usually lags behind. Sometimes, it never really changes.

That is even more of a reason to be aware of changes not only in our own preferences and needs, but to be aware of how companies/entities that stand behind the branding change. Many times, the image the company originally established does not live up to it’s current status. That is the difference between reality and perceived reality.

Are you looking beyond brands, piercing the image that the companies want you to see? Do you check if it is congruent? Is what you see, what you get?

It really goes far beyond just firms and their products. The same exact concept applies to individuals, governments, countries, social groups, television companies, friends, families and schools. So, become aware of brands that are currently in your mind and ask: “Is this image congruent with what the company/firm/friend/country/social group really stands for at this moment?”

Remember: people change and so are the entities that they represent.

__________

Image: paperocks a.k.a evalinda

I sometimes wait to write later in the day. Sometimes I do it because I don’t have time in the morning. Sometimes I just wait for inspiration. Inspiration comes from the articles I read or the experiences throughout the day. Well, this article is inspired by an event that happened today.

If you guess that I was pissed off because of the event, then you are right. The only good thing that is going to come out of that negative experience is this article.

The Mistake

In the past, I wrote how disagreement can create value. Many times it provides a different perspective on the same issue and so on. However, arguing has to be done the right way, otherwise it can lead to resentment.

From my experience today, I have come to the following conclusion: before engaging in a conversation and proposing your own perspective on an issue, make sure you understand the other person’s perspective completely.

If you do not take the time to completely understand the other person, then you will just end up insulting the other individual by making assumptions. Also, it is extremely difficult to even talk to a person when you know they did not care enough to research and understand your point of view.

Moreover, when you make assumptions without having the whole picture, you are going into the conversation with a closed mind with a predetermined outcome in your mind. That is the exact reason why you are not able to understand the other person completely to begin with. Your emotions and your prejudice get in the way. Your mind gets closed off before the interaction even starts.

Going to a conversation with a closed mind and a lack of complete information, you are sure to piss somebody off. Even if you won’t piss them off, they will be hesitant to ever talk to you again.

The Solution

So how do you actually avoid making this mistake?

1.Try to figure out why you want to engage in the interaction to begin with. Figure out your intentions first. If your intentions are to prove the other person wrong, then you might as well just drop the idea. However, if you intend to learn a different perspective  and suggest an alternative view to the other person, then that in itself will help you keep an open mind.

2.Do your research before engaging in an interaction. If you have the right mindset, then do your best to understand the different perspective. This will require you leaving the emotions behind you and understanding things for what they are. This will challenge you, but do your best.

3.Clarify before making a point. After completing the above two steps, here comes the crucial one. Summarize the other persons perspective to your opponent to make sure you understand their point of view exactly. This will show the other person that you actually took the time to understand their perspective and did your homework instead of just unloading your views and perceptions on them.

Do the above three steps and you will be able engage in more meaningful connections with other individuals. Try it out and see the magic work. This is part of the art of listening, truly listening. This is the skill that will help you open new doors and deeper understanding about life.

________________

Image: danorbit