I wrote a guest post for Write To Done, which I would love to share with the rest of you! Before, I go into that, I would like to thank Mary for being so open to my ideas and accepting the article! I felt amazing after she said yes! After all, over 15,000 subscribers received my article. Talk about peer pressure :)

The article talks about the blogosphere as playground: a place where we can have fun and just play for the sake of playing. If you want to learn or remember how to play, then you might to check out the article.

Either way, here are some of the bits from the article:

“I have one question for you: “When did you grow up?”

OKAY, that is actually just the first question. Here’s the rest.

Do you remember that exact moment when you decided to stop having fun and start being serious? Do you know when your careless smile was replaced by a frown? Do you know when you stopped believing in your dreams and decided to become reasonable?

Maybe it was around the time when you stopped playing.
Until that point, the whole world seemed to be your playground!”

If you are curious as to what happens next, read on:

The Ultimate Playground: Blogosphere

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Image: soulholder

We are all fully aware after we eat too much, drink too much, sleep too much, work too much and so on. We know because our body tells us so.

However, our body never really sends us a signal to stop consuming information. We are bombarded with information from the time we get up until the time when we go to sleep. Information comes in a variety of flavors: news, movies, TV shows, blogs, magazines, weather, YouTube videos, advertising, e-mail and so on. Our brain is constantly stimulated with information throughout the day and rarely, if ever, it will tell us that it has had enough.

That is exactly why we have to become aware of how much information we are consuming.

Information Obesity

Chances are you never really sit down and think about consuming too much information. Do you really need to watch those TV shows; read, watch or listen to news; read and track every single blog out there? Probably not. Many of us are just information consuming machines, just like some people are food consuming machines: it’s just important to eat, does not really matter what. You could call the phenomenon of people consuming too much information the information obesity.

It is time to trim the fat!

Trim The Fat

The process is really simple and pain free if you answer the following questions:

• Does this information add any value to me?
• Can I use this information to achieve my goals?
• Is this information relevant to my life?
• Does this information help me make decisions in my life?
• Does this information have any long-term lasting value?

You could add a couple of additional questions, but you get the idea. You can do away with most of the information that you are currently consuming in your life. You have to become selective with what information you consume and eliminate the information that is irrelevant to you.

Why Do It?

There are a couple of reasons to limit your information consumption. First, the more information you consume the more value it losses. Your brain can only process so much information without starting to selectively ignore it. Moreover, think about the opportunity cost of mindlessly consuming the information you don’t need. You could instead be absorbing that what really matters to you. Also, over-consumption of information will cost you a lot of emotional energy because you will react to information that has little to do with your life. Over time that will cause you to become insensitive to the information that you see around yourself essentially numbing your brain.

Sure, many of you will say, but I need to know! I need to know what is going on the world, I need to know how the celebrities are doing, I must know about all the technology that is coming out, I must watch the favorite show and so on and so forth. However, if you really sit down ask yourself the questions listed above, you will realize that you only need so much information to get you closer to accomplishing your goals in life.

If you are able to do this and limit the information to what only matters to you, then many changes will take place in your life. You will have more time and energy. You will be able to focus more. Your day will seem less busy and much more calm. You will stop worrying about the things that you can do nothing about. You will feel happier. More importantly, you will free up your brain power so that you can use it towards things that matter and achieve results faster. Trust me! I have done it myself.

I did it!

I have not watched TV in months. Matter of fact, I do not even have cable TV at my home. I barely read news (if ever). I have blocked websites using LeechBlock which were sucking up a ton of my time: Hulu, Gmail, Facebook and so on. I have limited my access to those sites to only certain times and hours within the week. I read only the books and blogs that matter to me and that will help me accomplish my goals in life: become a financial planner/advisor, become independent, improve my spiritual well being and many others.

It’s easy – JUST TURN IT OFF.

I am proud to announce my first guest post on Walter Adena’s blog LionSlinger.com. In this article I reconsidered the way people look at love. The basic idea that love is not an emotion, but a state of being.

Reconsidering Love

When I sat down to write this article, I wanted to call it: “What Love Really Is”. As soon as I started writing, it hit me. All of us are unique and all of us experience life differently. That is why we all have a unique understanding of what love is. Trying to prove to you what love really is would be simply pointless. I would be dissing your intelligence and your experiences in life by stating that you all are wrong and I am right about love.

Instead, I will just give you my unique perspective on love. I will tell you what I think love is not, what it is, and what it ought to be. Maybe, just maybe my insight will enrich your life and add a unique perspective that was not there before.

Continue reading here…

Habits Run Your Life

Life is simple.For the most part it is run by habits that we acquire over our lives. When I use the term habit I refer to a default way of responding to a reoccurring situation. Habits form because life is repetitive – common things happen over and over again. People act in predictable ways and our brain subconsciously starts responding in a preset way to certain reoccurring events.

Many of us, however, make it difficult by adopting the wrong habits. We start responding in such a way that is destructive to our lives. For example, people form the habits of negative thinking, laziness, pessimism, failure, depression, victim mentality and so on as a default way of dealing with tough situations.

Most of the time, people are not even aware of their destructive habit until somebody tells them so. Habits form because of the environment that we live in and because of the people that we are surrounded by. Humans learn by imitation and if we see something done enough times, we tend to accept as the default behavior to a particular situation. You can image what happens when a person grows up surround by the wrong role models – a ton of destructive habits that can run our lives into shambles.

If we were only able to change those destructive habits into constructive ones our lives would become a lot more simple and much more rewarding. That is all there is to it. Of course: “Easier said than done.”

How To Simplify Your Life

You could take the following steps to simplify your life.

• Become aware of your own destructive habits. This might the hardest step of them all. As I have mentioned before, most of the time we are not aware of us becoming engaged in a destructive action. A simple way to see if the action is destructive is to check if it interferes with your goals or your life purpose or if it slows your growth and development as an individual.

• Become aware of the situations in which you respond in a destructive way. Once you have identified your destructive habits, you will have to closely watch when the habit reoccurs and try to figure out what caused it. For example, if you start smoking after you become stressed out, you will know the stress is the trigger for smoking.

• Make a list. The next step is fairly intuitive. List your destructive habits along with situations that trigger them. Write it down and carry it with you. Glance over it daily so that you become more and more aware of the situations that trigger your destructive responses.

• Prepare a list of constructive responses. Once you have a clear list of the situations that trigger your destructive habits, create a completely new list of constructive habits to replace your destructive ones. For example, try this: instead of going for a smoke when you get stressed out, take a 5-10 walk outside as a new default response. The thing is, habits do not disappear, they must be replaced with a new habit; otherwise your brain will find its own default way of dealing with the situation. After all, habits exist for a reason – they offer us quick solution to common events. So it is in your benefit to make sure that you respond in a positive manner as opposed to becoming your own obstacle.

• Practice. That is how habits are created – by repetition. That is the only way to create a constructive habit that will change your life – practice. The more you practice the less you will have to think about it. Eventually, it will seem to just happen naturally. It might take years, months , or weeks for your brain to form new neuron connections and accept a new way of behaving.

• Reward yourself. This is helpful, but not required to reinforce a new positive habit. Think of something that will help you act one way versus the other. It might things as simple as watching your favorite show, treating yourself to a nice meal, a movie or a spa to reward yourself for your effort.

I Simplified My Life

Here is a very simple example from my own personal life to illustrate the above point. I was addicted to watching cartoons before going to sleep. I just had to watch them, or otherwise I could not sleep. This would keep me up until 1AM or 2AM  every night. Naturally, it would interfere with my work the next day as I would be sleep and tired the whole time.

The situation that caused me to watch cartoons was stress from the whole day. Simple enough. My destructive habit was watching cartoons. Once I had that, I had to write down a new constructive habit – it was meditation. So slowly but surely, I was able to cut out cartoons before going to bed and I would start meditating. It worked!

Now before I go to bed, I meditate. Mediation seems to work like magic and now I can go to sleep on time without wasting precious hours watching cartoons. Of course, because of that I am less stressed out the next day and meditating becomes much easier before going to bed. It’s a win win!

QUESTION: How could you use this technique to simplify your life?

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Photo: Flickr

I went skydiving and I survived. I am here to show and tell and share my experience with you all and encourage you to take on more risks in life which will change you forever!

Why Skydiving

Skydiving seems to be the ultimate challenge for the most people in life. It looks so scary and life threatening, but yet at the same time somehow safe.

When I told people that I am going skydiving, the typical response I heard was: “Why would I want to jump out of a perfectly good plane?” I did not know how to respond to those people. Maybe it was not for them. After all, it was their choice and their life.

I did not want to convince them to join me, but I knew that I had perfectly good reasons for skydiving:

• unique experience of a life time
• an exercise in overcoming the fear of fear
• making a tough decision and sticking with it
• challenging myself
• putting myself out of my comfort zone

Why I Went Alone

To my surprise I heard a couple of people saying that they wanted to go skydiving as well! I was excited! I did not want to do it alone!

Almost all of them told me: “Yea! It’s awesome! Let’s do it!”

Then I would follow up with them and all I would hear would be this: “Yea, I am busy that weekend”; “I had change of plans”, etc. I was disappointed, but I was expecting that. I came to expect for people to say one thing and do a different one. It seems that most of us are just scared of taking risks and rather stick with what we know.

Finally, I realized that if I waited for somebody else to come along , I would never end up go skydiving. I had to do it alone. So I just picked a date, signed up and waited to go skydiving. It felt good, but I was already getting nervous.

I Was Afraid

To be exact, I was afraid. No doubt about that. I had a list of questions and images running through my head:

• Am I going to die?
• If I die, is it going to be painful?
• How am i going to feel when I realize that I am going to die?
• Am I going to break my back?
• Is it safe?
• What if the parachute doesn’t go off?
• What if the plane crashes?
• How much experience does every body else have?
• What are the chances of death?
• What’s the worst thing that can happen?
• etc.

Luckily, I realized that skydiving is just like breathing to some people. I realized that I was not alone in my adventure. The Falling Illini president took me to the skydiving spot. He has done over 200 jumps! I did not even think that anybody would jump out of a plane more than once.

He was able to answer many of my questions and concerns and explained how everything worked. That provided me with some peace of mind. However, words did not mean much and I was as afraid as ever.

Still, I stuck with the plan. While we were driving, it all seemed surreal: I wasn’t really going to go skydiving; this is just a dream! Reality kicked in when we finally arrived and I saw the planes, the parachutes, the field, and people landing from 10,000 feet in the air.

I was not alone. People from all different ages, different levels of experience and different walks of life gathered that day to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

Finally, I paid. The actions were set in motion and there was no turning back. . Slowly but surely, my turn to skydive came. As I was getting ready, I wanted to scream and shout: “Hold up! Can I have some more time? I am not ready! I need more time!” and so on. Yet, things just kept moving and before I knew it I was on the plane. What happened next is history.

I did it!

Lessons Learned

After I landed, I had a lot of time to think and relax. Everything that I just did started to sink in. Here is what I learned from the whole experience:

• Just do it! Just go ahead and do it. If it is something that you want to do, nothing will stop you. All you have to do is decide to do it. Once the first domino falls, the rest will seem seamless and easy. Deciding to do something is key.
• Face the fear. Diving into the unknown, into uncertainty is scary! But the only way to conquer that fear is to face and keep going despite it. Fear is just an emotion saying to you: “You are doing something you have not done before!” That’s great! You are exploring unknown territories within yourself. You are growing!
• Be prepared to go alone. Most people will not face the fear. They will stay where they are. They are not comfortable with the emotion of fear, but you are! That is why there is a chance that you will start alone. It might be discouraging, but rewards in life come with a price.
• You are not alone. You might start out alone, but you will not end up alone. There are other courageous people out there, who are carving their own destiny, their own path in life. Once you leave the ones that are afraid, you will me the ones who are courageous.
• Seek guidance. You are not the first and not the last to travel this new road that you chose. Others have done it. Find them. Find them and ask them questions. Their knowledge will enlighten your path and ease your fears. Uncertainty makes us afraid. We like to know things. So educate yourself about your fear until the uncertainty is gone!
• Prepare for a change. Once you face and overcome your fear, you will change. You will change in ways you did not expect. Your current environment, you current friends and your current lifestyle might not seem appropriate for the person that you have become. But that’s the price of change. Are you willing to pay?

I Changed

Indeed, after skydiving many things changed. Everything seemed so trivial. Skydiving was like whole new world that I have not realized existed. Coming back to “reality” was weird: the sky did not look the same, people did not look the same to me, my fears were not the scary any more.

Most importantly, I became comfortable with uncertainty. I became comfortable with taking risk and facing my fears. I became comfortable with making tough decisions is sticking by them. I felt like I was born all over again.

It’s Your Turn

You do not have to go skydiving to go skydiving. There are so many opportunities in life where you can put yourself at risk, face your fears and realize how trivial they were. You will start looking at a world through a different pair of glasses. Danger will turn in opportunity, fear will turn into growth.

Do you want to go skydiving without going skydiving? If so:

• Go speak in front of a large group of people – you will survive!
• Go ask the girl or guy out – you will survive!
• Stand up for yourself – you will survive!
• Quit your crappy job – you will survive!
• Do what you want to do – you will survive!

Not only you will survive, you will learn and grow and become stronger and stronger with each new experience!

Lately, I have been working on my personal life manifesto. I already have come up with a life purpose. I am yet to create a mission statement and life long goals that I want to accomplish. However, I did successfully complete creating a list of my own personal values.

Importance Of Values

Values are like your compass in life, helping you make the right decisions and keep yourself in check. Depending on what you value, you will pursue different goals. For example, if you value helping people then you would never take a job that hurts them. If you value cleanliness, then your environment should always be clean and pleasant. If you value simplicity, then you will abstain from acquiring unnecessary possessions.

Sometimes, we are aware of what is important to us. However, more often than not we forget what truly matters and go off doing things that are not related to our lives. That is why I believe it is important to always carry a written list of your core values with you. That way, you can always reference and look at it everyday, so core values stay fresh in your mind. For that purpose, I bought a journal to write down my values and carry with me everywhere.

How To Discover Your Values

I attempted to list my values multiple times. However, they were unsuccessful. I could not seem to really find a way of learning what mattered to me. I was confused with too many values to pick from. Finally, I stumbled upon this simple method to discover your values in about one hour or so.

Here are the steps:

• Take out a sheet of paper and write down what you dislike other about other people. What annoys you about others is something that you value yourself. Take the time to do this. Write out all of the qualities in other people that bother you. List whatever comes to your mind until you cannot think of anything else. Personal example; I cannot stand the following:
  • people that lie to me
  • people who are late
  • hypocrites
  • people who whine and complain
  • etc.

• Then, turn those negative qualities into your own values. For example, if you cannot stand people that are lying to you, then your value could be honesty. If lazy people annoy you, then your value could be pro-activity. And so on.

• Once you do that, you can look for similar values so you can simplify and narrow down your list. You might have concentration and focus on that same piece of paper, just cross one out and leave the one that makes sense to you.

• Once you have a completel list, try prioritizing it so you know the most important values in your life. I personally put some of the following values in my top 10: growth, experience, integrity, independence.

The above described method is really simple, but it has truly helped me understand what is important to me and what I should strive for in my life.

Why Does It Work

“Be the change that you want to be in the world.” That is where I got the idea from. If we notice something that we do not like in others, then it must be important enough to us that we take the time to get annoyed by. When a person does something that irritates us, we feel like they have disrespected us. That is where our values lie. That is why I believe the above method is so effective at helping you create a list of core values

ACTION: Try it out and let me know how it worked out for you! Remember to write them down as well as follow them yourself!

“We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” – Fight Club

X: I love that quote. It’s awesome! I completely agree with it!
Y: Are you crazy? That’s nonsense. I know that any of us can be millionaires and movie stars. All we have to do is to chose so!
X: That’s crap. Society is just structured so that only a few lucky ones can get to the top. The rest of us are just fed false dreams to keep us somewhat happy and calm.
Y: Are you kidding me? I have witnessed so many people who were at the bottom and the rose to the top to become millionaires and movie starts just by working hard and putting in the effort.That is all you need in this life: hard work and you can make anything of yourself. I know I will be something one day!
X: Yea right. Did you ever look around yourself? There are millions of other people out there just like living this false dream, thinking they are going to be superstars. What makes you think you are different from them? Look, I want to be a millionaire too. I want to live in the lazy life, do nothing, just chill, hang out and do what I want. But I have to be realistic. I have to know my limits and just accept the reality for what it is.
Y: That is exactly why you are going no where. What are you going to do? Join a “Fight Club”? Give up on your dreams and just go join the rest of the losers?
X: Who are you calling a loser?
Y: You! Whatever, you just don’t get it
X: Me? Are you kidding me? Look who is talking!

What Is A Disagreement

Sounds familiar? Who is right in this situation? Who is wrong? Are they both partially right and partially wrong? Did this argument accomplish anything? Did it add any value to anybody? Chances are that nothing positive came out of the conversation.

We all have something to say about everything: self-development, nutrition, exercise, sleep, education, health care, war, love, etc. Yet, many of us really don’t care if what we know is the truth or just a widely accepted belief. What we really care about is that we have an opinion and because it is ours it makes it the correct one. It is very difficult for us to accept the fact that we might be wrong about something.  Matter of fact, when we realize that we are wrong, we try to defend our perspective even more.

Because of the reasons above, most disagreements lead people to feel lesser than they really are; their confidence drops, they start to doubt themselves; they feel resentment towards the other person; they feel emotionally and physically drained. That is why most people will tell you to avoid arguments all together and just let other person be. People will tell you to stay on the safe side and keep your opinion to your self. That might be true. But I tend to disagree.

Creating Value By Disagreeing

Let me tell you a little story. When I went to college I worked as a resident assistant at one of the residential halls. I naturally like confronting people and challenging their views. So it happened that I got into an argument about god with one of the very religious co-workers of mine. See, I have a very different understanding of god than most people that I meet. You could say it that it is a very nontraditional view. The co-workers happened to have a very traditional belief of God.

Before the argument even started, I thought to myself: “Here we go again. He’s going to try to convert me to his views. This is going to be fun…” Indeed, it was a lot of fun! The conversation lasted for hours. It had to be one of the most educational and eye opening conversations that I have ever had. I have learned so much about people and life that I did not know before or did not fully understand. The other person created value by disagreeing with me. It was just an outstanding experience!

After that, I started noticing it happening more and more frequently. I realized that it was not a unique, isolated event. Eventually, I realized that disagreeing with somebody can be the best learning and growth experience that you can have with somebody.

Here is why value is created when you disagree with others:

• You get a chance to test and reexamine the validity of your beliefs
• You get to learn of a different perspective about the same issue
• You learn how to connect with people on a personal level
• You get an opportunity to grow
• You provide an opportunity of growth for the other person
• You test the beliefs of the other person

If done right, a disagreement will provide you and others with a tremendous value and will accelerate your growth.

Disagreement is a catalyst of growth.

For the reasons above, it is selfish not seek opportunities for disagreement! You should go out there and ask people to disagree with you, to continuously challenge your beliefs, to keep you on the edge. You should also go out there and become confrontational! Express your opinions when you do not agree! Get out there and disagree!

However, you might get your feelings – or something else – hurt if you don’t do it right. There is a right way to disagree.

How To Disagree

Follow the following tips to create the most value for yourself and others when disagreeing:

• Know yourself. Know why you believe something that you believe in. Know the reasons behind it, so you can clearly articulate and explain yourself in such manner that would provide value to the person listening.

• Keep an open mind. If you are approaching others with a purpose to disagree then expect and be ready for things that will make you emotionality irritated. Expect them and neutralize them before hand. Losing your cool is the worst thing that can happen when being engaged in an argument.

• Listen. If you are going just to force your opinion onto others, you will soon find people keeping their distance from you. Learn how to listen. If you listen and understand the other person, you will gain an insight into their thinking. You will gain their respect and they will listen to you as well. Keeping communication channels open is crucial if you want to learn something and create value for others.

• Ask questions. If you do not understand something – ask. Others will be more than happy to explain it to you. Do not jump to conclusions when you hear something that does not make sense to you. Give the other person a chance to provide a complete explanation.

• Be patient. Understand that arguments might take a long time. If it is something that is important to you – schedule a more convenient time to talk and come ready. Doing things in a rush, can cause even more confusion than to help any of the involved parties.

• Know when to stop. Sometimes, it is just crucial to stop the argument. Once you realize that the other person is refusing to listen, cuts you short, forces their opinion on you – leave. Politely excuse yourself and get away from a ” you lose  he/she wins” situation.

Now go out there and disagree!

QUESTION: When was the last time you created or gained value from disagreeing?

__________

Image: Photobucket

Have you ever given advice? Have you had people thank you for your help? However, have you ever followed your own advice that you have given to others? Have you caught yourself doing the exact opposite of what you told your friends? Have people called you a hypocrite? Unfortunately, I have to answer “yes” to all of the above questions. What about you? Answer them honestly before you proceed with the article.

If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, I have great news for you – you have wisdom stored within you that you might not be even aware of. Let us examine why that is the case.

There are couple of important things going on here that we need to explore to understand this completely:

• outside perspective
• oneness
• awareness
• congruency

Outside Perspective. When we give advice to another person, we provide them with an outside perspective on their situation. Outside perspective is usually very valuable and can help the other person deal with their issues effectively. Let us examine why that is. When people are faced with tough life situations, they lack clarity and direction. They seem stuck. The routine takes over people’s lives and they do not know how to get out of it. Then they turn to friends, like yourself, for help. You have the unique ability to look at your friends issues and give them a clear perspective and advice. You seem to immediately understand the action that should be taken. I believe it is because we do not have the emotional connections to the events in other people’s lives, more importantly most of the time we are looking at the situation for the first time and are able to determine the right solution right away. The value of the outside perspective is invaluable.

Oneness. Another piece of the puzzle is oneness. It is my understanding that we are all connected. I believe that all humans are connected because of our experiences in our lives. We all cry, laugh, love, hate, fear, get excited, sad, angry, disappointed, etc. Because of that we are able to connect and understand each other. Therefore when our friends ask us for help, it is likely that their issues and problems is something that we have already experienced or are yet to experience. In a sense, we are giving advice to ourselves! Yet, we have the benefit of added clarity and emotional disconnect to offer the right solution. That is great news because instead of just helping your friend, you are also helping yourself! The only thing we have to do to get the benefit of our own wisdom is to become aware of it.

Awareness. Often times when we give advice, it comes to us naturally. We do not even have to think about it twice. We just seem to know what the other person should do. It does not even matter if we have been in a similar situation before or not. However, we rarely take note of that advice ourselves and next time we get into the situation that our friend was in, we are lost just like they were! How do we solve this dilemma? I, personally, stared writing things down. I bought a journal where I keep solutions to various tough and routine life situations. Whenever, I notice a useful advice that I gave to somebody, I write it down in my journal. Writing things down accomplished a couple of important tasks. First, it helps you store the information for future use. Second, it helps you absorb and remember the information much better. I just recently started doing this and my plan is to have a journal full of ready to use solutions for common and unique life situations. This way I will be always ready to act when I am faced with life.

Congruency. The last piece of the puzzle is congruency. It means following your own advice. If you give advice to your friends and then do not follow it yourself, you will lose credibility. Even though it might have been a proper solution, you not following your own advice will discredit you. This way you might lose a great way to teach yourself and others a great way to handle difficult situations. Moreover, even if you write down your own advice and keep a journal of it, but do not follow what you said you would do, you will just have wasted your time and prolonged your learning process. Help yourself. Follow your own advice. You will be able to build credibility amongst your peers, you will solve your problems quickly and efficiently and you will be able to find any flaws that your advice might have had.

In short, all of us have wisdom of the world contained in us; it is up to us to recognize and use to help others and ourselves. Just trust yourself.

Pepsi or Coke?

Imagine yourself going to the grocery store. You are walking around picking your groceries. You pass the beverage isle. Before you know it, you reach for Pepsi. Or is it Coke? Even though there is a huge variety of other drinks around you, chances are that you picked either Pepsi or Coke. Now ask yourself: “Why did I pick it?” Is it because one tastes better than the other? Is it because Coke or Pepsi has advantages or one another? Do you even know?

Chances are you do not know why you picked Pepsi instead of Coke or vice versa. But I know who can tell you that. It is the advertising and marketing departments of both Coke and Pepsi. Those companies put millions or even billions of dollars into advertising to sell you mediocre products. Companies analyze and research how and why people make decisions; how people create emotional bonds with products; how people perceive products. Once they have that information, they use it to create new brands or reinforce already existing ones.

What does branding mean to you?

To me branding means creating desired associations with a certain name that would not otherwise be there. Once again, what do you think of when you think of Coke? What does thinking of Pepsi bring to your mind? Answering that might give you a glimpse of why you pick Coke or Pepsi over hundreds of other choices.

So, why do companies focus on branding, advertising and marketing so much? Because it matters. It creates value in people’s minds. It differentiates products one from another even though in reality they might be exactly the same.

Now comes the real question: how much do you focus on branding, advertising and marketing yourself?

Brand Yourself

Until very recently, I believed that it should not matter what others thought of me. I believed that the only thing that should matter is what I think of myself. Now that belief has changed. Hopefully, you will understand why after finishing this article.

It is very important what others think of you. To be more exact it is more important what you make others think of you. Pepsi and Coke are always telling you what to think of their products. They tell you to feel happy, refreshed, enthusiastic, energetic, etc. through marketing and advertising. Why can’t you do the same? Why leave it up to others to tell you who you really are? Why not tell others what they should think of you? Why not? You should and you should do it NOW!

Left to it’s own devices, people will talk anything they want about you based on they way you act, talk or interact with others. Imagine if you told others what you want them to think of you. What would happen? They will start thinking of you that exact way. The trick here is to act congruently with what you tell others. Otherwise, people will soon realize that you are fake. If you are able to not only talk the talk but also walk the walk, people will start having the associations that you want them to have when they hear your name.

Why is all of the above important? Why is it important what others think of you? Simple answer is: it opens opportunities that would not otherwise be there. Imagine if you create an image of yourself as a reliable and trustworthy person who is easy to get along. Now also imagine that you are looking for a job. Now, one of your friends with this positive image in their head talks to an employer who is looking for people who are reliable, trustworthy and easy to get along. Whose name do you think will come up? Chances are: Yours.

You will have the upper hand. You will be the Pepsi or the Coke amongst the sea of other candidates. I hope now you can see why it is important what others think of you and why you should them what to think of you and act congruently later on. That is how you will create a brand for yourself.

Validation

Even though it is important what others think of you, it is important not to get caught in the trap of validation. Here is how it works.

1. You decide what you want others to think of you
2. You tell them what to think of you
3. You act on it.

Your job is done. If somebody does not like it, then it is their problem. You have chosen and decided the way you want to be perceived. You are in control of how others think of you. Naturally, there will be individuals who will not like you for various reasons, but that should be of no concern to you. If they do not like you for who you are, then they have no business being around you either way. Just stay confident, be yourself and forget the rest.

That is it. I am done. I have passed all four parts of the Certified Public Accountant (CPA) Exam!  I found that out just a couple of days ago. Thank you! Thank you! I am excited that I am done with the exam. It was no easy task. My journey started all they way back in February,2009. I took my last test October 2nd, 2009.  It is total of eight months that I have spent studying for the exam. Finally, the baby was born.

It was a journey filled with challenges, sometimes hopelessness, sometimes happiness, but it was mostly filled with tons of studying and learning. I learned more than I thought I would. Of course, I learned all about auditing, taxes, business law, financial accounting and reporting, economics and so on. However, some of the most valuable lessons I have learned came from the experience itself. That is what I want to share with the rest of you. I had to learn these things the hard way, and I want to share them with you to make your life easier.

Here it goes. Top 5 Lessons from the CPA Exam:

• Pace Yourself. Any major undertaking in life will require a lot of effort and time. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to become a great communicator? Do you want to become a leader? Do you want to be great at X? If you answered “Yes”, to any of the above questions then you will have to pace yourself. You have to do just the right amount every day to accomplish your goals. If you do too much – you will get burnt out. If you do too little – you will never achieve your goals. So figure out, what it is that you want to be great at or what you want to accomplish and start taking small steps every day towards that goal. Over time, it will seem that you are not doing much, but the accumulation of those small daily actions will yield the result that you were looking for. That leads directly to my next point.

• Be Patient. Patience is truly a virtue. I remember so many times I wanted for the exam to be over; I wanted to be done with it; I wanted to have my results yesterday. Yet, no matter how hard I wished for something, it never happened any sooner that it should have. Sometimes, I wanted to know everything today, but it seemed that I was getting nowhere. It seemed that time was standing still and that my studies were yielding no fruit. I had to stay motivated and keep doing those small steps along the way and stay patient and not get frustrated. It was tough at first. But eventually I realized that with time, it will all make sense. And it did. Being patient and pacing myself helped me stay sane, motivated and frustration free. In short, be patient and trust yourself and the results will come…eventually.

• Eliminate Distractions. The biggest hurdle in most people’s lives in achieving something great is distractions. During my studies, I encountered many distractions: friends wanting to go out or hang out, watching a lazy movie, going on a date and so on. Yet, I knew that if I wanted to stay focused, I had to eliminate things that were using my energy, but were no getting me to where I wanted to go. Same applies to real life situations. If you have set a purpose or a goal in life and you want to achieve it – eliminate distractions. Those distractions might be more subtle in life. They may come in the form of unhealthy relationships, activities, environments, hobbies, addictions and so on.  It is important to become aware of them and then eliminate them to clear your mind and regain focus.

• Be Flexible. Some things are not within your control. You have to admit and deal with it. In the course of my studies, various things would come up ranging from work related issues to family related issues. Things would come up  that I could not just avoid or eliminate. I would have to deal with them. Understand that things in life rarely go just like you planned. Most of the time they do not. It is important to expect them and when they do happen deal with them as soon as possible. If you stay flexible and are able to work around life to get to where you want to get in life, you will be successful. Getting frustrated and angry at random unpleasant events in your life will get you no where. It will just waste your energy and slow your progress. Stay flexible and solve problems when they come up.

• Remember what matters. Sometimes I would get lost in the midst of the studies. I would forget to live a life. I would eliminate everything that I thought was a distraction, but it was because I was letting it become one. It is important to remember to live a life while you are focusing on your goals. Remember the important relationships that matter to you. Remember the activities that you enjoy doing. Remember doing things that make you happy and fulfilled. Although it is important to stay on course to where you are going, it is even more important to be able to enjoy life no matter what.  Remember why you are doing certain things. Why are you getting your CPA? Why are you doing X? In my case, I wanted to get the CPA to open up more doors and become more competitive so I can get a job and do the things I like with the people I love.  But sometimes I would forget to do those things while studying for the CPA. Don’t make that mistake. Remember what matters in your life and remember why you are doing certain things in life.

I hope that you are able to learn and apply the lessons above to your personal life. Let is serve you as a small reminder of what is truly important in life and how to get what you want in life without compromising.