It’s All About Stress

Stress is not created equal. Some is good, some is bad. Yet, in the end it is all just stimulus, which we respond to. Some of us respond to it consciously, some of us just go with the flow. It is very important to understand how you react to stress if you want to learn how to better manage it. Like everything in life, change and progress begins with awareness.

There is no better way to learn how you respond to stress than by engaging in physical exercise. If you observe how you react to stress (weight) in physical exercise, you will be able to become more aware of how you handle stress in other situations. There are plenty other parallels between life and lifting that I would like to discuss. You will observe the following lessons yourself if you just take the time to go to the gym.

There. Now you have another reason to go workout instead of just getting in shape.

Lifting For Life

Stress is necessary for growth. When you lift, you place your body under stress – a stimulus that your body is not used to. Your body responds with pain. It will tell you that it hurts, that it is heavy, sweaty and uncomfortable. Yet, that pain is necessary for muscle growth. That is the ONLY way, that our bodies will become stronger. The phrase, use it or lose it, is as true as ever. Same thing is true for life. If there is no stress in our life, then there is no new stimulus being introduced and we began to stagnate and digress. Only through exposing ourselves to new and unique situations you will be able to lead a progressive life.

Not all stress is created equal. If you life, then you know that there is good pain and bad pain. Same way there is good stress and bad stress in life. The good pain in lifting is the one that stimulates growth. It is by no means comfortable, yet it is very motivating because you know are achieving your goals. The bad pain is the one that causes injury, fatigue, and unhappiness when you lift. It is important to learn how to interpret those two signals. Good pain or stress should motivate you to keep pushing yourself to achieve your goals. Bad pain should be a signal to slow down, rest and recover and figure out what you are doing wrong. Life works in the same way. We need to understand when to push ourselves and when to pull back.

Strong get stronger. Weak get weaker. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Rich get richer? Poor get poorer? And it is true as always. Once you start lifting and becoming stronger, you will only be able to do more and more, push yourself further and further. Those that chose to never start lifting, will increasingly get weaker as they will fail to expose themselves to the stress required to build strength. The difference between the strong and the weak is the ability and desire to get through the temporary growing pains. I am talking about that time when you are trying to get back in gym after a year of no lifting. At first, it will feel as if you have destroyed every single muscle tissue in your body. Yet, if you are able to push on, you will soon start reaping the reward of progress and growth. The only question is this: “Are you able to push yourself through the growing pains?”

Variety is key for progress. If you have lifted for a while, then at some point you will hit a plateau. It is a point at which your positive gains seems to have stopped. No matter what you seem to be doing, it almost seems like you are stuck. However, before you give up, consider a couple of things. Sometimes, all that is needed to move beyond that “stuck point” is some variety. It might in the from of lighter weight, more repetitions, different exercises all together or maybe some help from a friend. Stagnation comes from exposure to the exact sames stress over long periods of time. After a while our bodies simply adapt to it and that same stimulus just does not have the same effect as it did before. Similarly in life, we sometimes feel stuck because we have been doing the same routine over and over again. Just a little bit of variety might be needed to brighten things up.

Don’t do it alone. Weight lifting is a stress inducing activity on its own. Doing it all by yourself can be very discouraging as you might not have anybody to share your joys and your downfalls with. Finding a partner who will be there to spot you, to motivate you, to encourage you is crucial to success and progress. Another added benefit of a partner is that you will have somebody to compete with, which will further advance your growth. Find a proper partner is not that easy as many people are flaky, not committed, negative or just not focused. It is a great lesson to carry forward with you on to any other activity in life. When starting a new activity, be sure to look for the right person to come along, otherwise you might take a step back instead of a step forward. Moreover, be prepared to start alone and find somebody else along the way.

Build proper foundation. Nothing will set you back more than an injury. Injury can take you out for days, weeks, months or ever years. I have experienced it myself. Most of the injuries come from improper technique or form. It is crucial to do things that right way. You might be inclined to add more and more weight as soon as possible without understand the fundamentals. In that case, you would be just cheating yourself and heading towards a serious injury. It is better to take things slow and learn how to do the exercises properly than to rush into things only to suffer a major set back later. I am sure many of you, have experienced this in other areas of life. Sometimes you are so eager to get things started that you forget to set up a proper foundation.

Attitude matters. Some might describe lifting and exercising as boring, repetitive, sweaty, hard, painful and so on. And they would be right. It is all of those things. But at the same time, it is challenging, rewarding, fun, energizing, empowering and confidence creating activity. It is only a matter of which side you choose. All of these different words can describe the same exact activity. The ones that you will choose to describe your exercises will make you either love it or hate it. Likewise, we all are living the same life, how do you choose to look at it?

Consistency results in lasting gains. Many people lift for short periods of time and then quit. Then they start over. By doing that, they never move beyond the starting point. It might be even more discouraging that doing nothing. Only those that stick with the activity for extended periods of time without major breaks will be able to enjoy the fruits of their labor. After a while, your body will require you to exercise and stay active. Eventually, you might be able to change the way you feel about being active and you will not have to think twice about going to the gym. Same is true for any other area in life. Lasting results will come from persistent purposeful actions.

The truth is that the list could go on and on. I could easily twenty other things that I have learned about life from just exercising. But then you all would have no reason to exercise! Just kidding. Indeed, working out is a rewarding activity that will teach you not only about your body, but about how you handle stress and life all together. Look for clues in your own behavior and you might learn valuable insights in other areas of your life.

So what are you waiting for? The secrets of life are waiting to reveal themselves at your local gym!

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Image: jontunn

I wrote a guest post for Write To Done, which I would love to share with the rest of you! Before, I go into that, I would like to thank Mary for being so open to my ideas and accepting the article! I felt amazing after she said yes! After all, over 15,000 subscribers received my article. Talk about peer pressure :)

The article talks about the blogosphere as playground: a place where we can have fun and just play for the sake of playing. If you want to learn or remember how to play, then you might to check out the article.

Either way, here are some of the bits from the article:

“I have one question for you: “When did you grow up?”

OKAY, that is actually just the first question. Here’s the rest.

Do you remember that exact moment when you decided to stop having fun and start being serious? Do you know when your careless smile was replaced by a frown? Do you know when you stopped believing in your dreams and decided to become reasonable?

Maybe it was around the time when you stopped playing.
Until that point, the whole world seemed to be your playground!”

If you are curious as to what happens next, read on:

The Ultimate Playground: Blogosphere

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Image: soulholder

Have you ever set out to accomplish a fairly vague goal such as becoming better at something. That something could be speaking, writing, socializing, networking, basketball, programming and so on. Since better is a very vague word, it is inherently hard to measure our progress or know how we are doing.

For example, I set out into the blogging world. I just wanted to share my thoughts with the rest of the world, help a couple of people. Nothing big. Then I started getting into it, as I realized vast opportunities that blogging presents. And then, I realized that if I want to make anything out of my blog, I have to improve my writing.

A tool of communication with the rest of the world! Sounds pretty important doesn’t it?

Well, as I progressed through my journey, I felt that I was getting better at it, but I was not sure. So I decided to ask for feedback. It’s one of the best choices I have made.

It does not matter what you are trying to get better at; you NEED to know how you are doing. Are you running a project and want to know if the customer is pleased? Are you working on speech and you want to know if it is coming along well? If so, then the best way to get better at something is to ask for feedback. Period.

Here is why.

• It will show others that you care. What better way to show others that you care about what you do than by earnestly asking for genuine feedback? Even if it is something that you are doing for yourself (such as blogging, public speaking, project management, programming, etc), by asking others for feedback you will get them thinking about you. Your friends, co-workers, or family will become more aware of what you are doing and often will help you improve faster by providing  you with additional tools, advice or just general support.

• You will know your own progress. You will be able to understand if the actions that you are taking are helping you or hurting you. Feedback will help you figure out if you are moving too fast, too slow, putting enough, too much or too little effort in achieving your goals. Often times, we will have an idea of how we are doing, but feedback can work as a “reality check” for us to maintain awareness of our actions.

• You will push yourself out of your comfort zone. Naturally, you will have to put yourself out there when asking for feedback. You might have to force yourself to talk to your boss, your spouse, your children, your coworkers, strangers and friends in order to get feedback about the topic that concerns you. How is that pushing myself out of my comfort zone you might ask? Well, if you are asking for feedback be prepared to hear the good, the bad and the ugly. Especially the bad and the ugly. But that is exactly why feedback is important. If everybody just told you the good stuff while hiding the bad, what good would it do to you? NOTHING. So expect and learn how to deal with criticism and remember that a failure just points to an area for improvement.

• You will push others out of their comfort zone. This is a tough one. Believe or not people are very nice. Most of  us will do the most we can to avoid any sort of conflict. That is exactly what you are doing when you are asking for feedback, HONEST feedback. I am going to say it again: ask for HONEST feedback. That means others will have to tell you the bad and the ugly as well as the good stuff. That in itself is a recipe for conflict. People are worried about hurting others feelings by telling them the truth EVEN when they ask for it! Be sure to emphasize honesty because if they will try to play a nice person and hold things back from you, then you  and the other person will lose on the opportunities for growth by putting yourselves into a conflict situation.

• It will open up channels of communication. Naturally, this will force you to communicate and even talk openly to people which you would generally not even say “Hi” to.  This can be a great conversation starter and a catalyst for new friendships. You might discover new friends along the way who will help you excel even further by being honest and resourceful.

I personally experienced all of the above effects of feedback by asking my friend and fellow blogger Oleg Mokhov to provide me with honest feedback on my writing. It’s great and one of the more overlooked resources for growth. Because of this important information that I am receiving from Oleg, I am able to write better and better growing my blog and attracting more readers and hopefully helping them improve their lives!

You can do it too! All you have to do is ASK.

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Image: Don Moyer

Drop The Victim Mentality

People love to complain, feel helpless and just live in the victim mentality. It puts responsibility out of your own hands and leaves the world at fault. It is easy because you can go on telling yourself that there is nothing you can do about the situation. It is the easy way out. It is also addicting. If you are stuck in that mode of thinking for long enough, you will find yourself depressed with your life spiraling out of control.

It is understandable. Somewhat. Yea, the economy is tough, people do not have jobs, everybody is sad and depressed without any money. What is there to be happy about you ask?

EVERYTHING.

Here’s why! Right now is the best opportunity to appreciate everything that you have and give. Yes! Give! Give when you think that you do not have anything to give. However, understand that you always have something to give. Always! No matter what is going on, no matter how bad the economy is, you can always give something. You can always give your time and your energy to others! That’s right, your time and your energy.

Forget about giving money,things, or food – give yourself. It is the best kind of gift that you can give. You can accomplish that by volunteering!

I was siting at home and complaining that I cannot get a job and how I do not have anything to do and how my life sucks right now. Then, suddenly I realized:

• I do not have a job
• I have nothing to do
• I need experience
• I want to interact and meet others

Go Volunteer

There was only one option left for me. I had to go volunteer! Yes! It all of the sudden made so much sense! And I think that everybody who is unemployed, not sure what to do in life should get up and go volunteer! It is the best thing to do! When times are tough and gloomy go help others by giving yourself for free . There are so many benefits to volunteering:

• you get to help others
• you meet new people
• you gain experience
• you get involved
• you expose yourself to something new
• you spend time with purpose instead of wasting it at home

It is a bit selfish, but sometimes doing things for wrong reasons can lead to do things for the right reasons! So to all the people who sit at home and complain that they can do nothing about their lives, I have answer – go help others! This way you shift your focus from scarcity to abundance. Even when you think you have nothing else to give, give yourself! If you are serious and want to get started there are a couple of great places to do that:

• http://www.idealist.org/
• http://www.volunteermatch.org/

There are opportunities for a variety of individuals with different sets of skills. Are you a recent college graduate, a high school graduate? Are an expert in finance, accounting, marketing, etc? There are opportunities for you.

For example, I am interested in financial planning. I went to those sites listed above and there are plenty of opportunities for financial planners. This way, I will not be wasting my time sitting at home, I will be able to go out and meet new people, I will gain experience in financial planning, I will do something to help others, I will make new connections. I choose life of abundance and leave the life of victim behind me.

There are reasons to only go out and volunteer TODAY! What are you waiting for? What is your excuse? Go out there and help others especially in such a time of need for everybody!

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Image: Flickr

My Situation

I graduated in December from one of the best undergraduate colleges  for Business – the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. It marked the end of a four and a half year  journey of my undergraduate education. So far as I can remember I was excited, but at the same time nervous. I was nervous about the uncertainty about my future because I was still unemployed.

It was a scary and unsettling prospect and I felt like I have wasted almost five years of my life. I have to admit, this state lingered on for a while, but eventually I was able to break out of it. Why? I realized that being unemployed puts a lot of things in perspective. And perspective is the word of the day today.

Why does Unemployment Create Stress?

Stress can be thought of as something that reduces your well-being or confidence. And that is exactly what I felt after graduating. The societal pressures that come directly or indirectly from family, friends, peers or even media and form certain expectations that you are almost required to meet.  Those expectations almost make you feel inadequate, -, sad, angry and frustrated all at the same time. That further forces you to doubt your own ability and talent or even purpose of many things that you did for last five years. On top of that, in certain cases you might have to go back to live with your parents, which adds additional pressures for you. Further your ability to do things that you enjoy goes down drastically due to a lack of funds and added stress. How in the world, you ask, is that good or even beneficial? Here is the how.

Why is Unemployment Stress Beneficial?

All of the things mentioned above create many restrictions on your life, which in turn creates a lot of time, which you wouldn’t have otherwise. Having that time and that stress can results in many negative reactions form an individual – such as stress, depression, etc. But it doesn’t have to. Stress exists there for a reason, it is an emotion that is telling you something about yourself. All that you need to do is listen to yourself and use stress and this free time wisely.

Why is Unemployment Beneficial?

If you follow my advice above, then you can learn a great deal about yourself. The first thing you need to ask is why you are unemployed to begin with?

• Is because of your grades?
• Is it because of a certain skill that you lack?
• Is it because you maybe really don’t want to be employed?
• Is it because you really want to start your own business?
• Is it because you are not following your true passion?
• Is it because you are not working hard enough? If so, is it because of the reasons above?

To my surprise I answered yes to a lot of the questions above and I started realized how lucky I was for not having a job at this point of time in my life. Because of the stress and the extra time I had I was able to do many things that were way overdue:

• Reevaluate what is important in life
  • Money?
  • Spirituality?
  • Health?
  • Making a lasting impact?
  • Family?
  • Traveling?
  • Etc.
• Re-prioritize the above
• Start learning new skills
  • Start learning a new language
  • Enhance your communication skills
  • Gain more technical skills
• Thinking of an alternative way to become “employed”
  • Think of ways to start your own business
  • L0ok for alternative paths/careers that more align with the purpose of my life
• Work on personal development
  • Time management
  • Productivity
  • Determining your current and future goals
  • Become more creative
  • Etc.

So now you really start to realize that you are unemployed for a good reason. And you have the opportunity to find out why and work on and maybe change your life path completely. You have the great advantage over people who did get jobs but who hate their work, their bosses or they co-workers. You might say, but at least they have a job that pays. Well, in my opinion, they are actually paying a lot more to have that job than the benefit that they are receiving.

The Real Dangers Of Unemployment

I am not denying that there are some real dangers of being unemployed. The biggest one of them being – becoming comfortable with the idea of doing nothing and just getting by. That is the biggest trap. Some of the other dangers would be

• developing a depression, which would halt your life completely
• not doing anything about your situations and blaming everything on other people
• not accepting responsibility for your own life and your own reality

Now you know why being unemployed right after college is a great opportunity to a blessing in disguise, it is only required to recognize it as such. More importantly, realize that you are not the only one dealing with it and if you are really down, get help. People will be more than willing to help and understanding of your situation. Don’t get discouraged and keep moving!