The recent global financial crisis, which originated in the United, caused a lot of discussion worldwide. There are a variety of topics, which can be discussed, but one that I think deserves the most attention is the law.

Law defines what is legal and what is illegal. It tells us the boundaries within which the firms and individuals can operate. Law sets up the rules, which we must follow or face consequences otherwise. Consequences are of course a matter of enforcement of the law by the government. Government has the role of an utmost importance: it has to create the laws, interpret the laws and subsequently enforce them.

I am sure what you just read above is nothing new. But have you really thought about the implications of it? Anything that is not defined as being illegal, by default is legal. If the law does not cover it, then you are free to act on it. Furthermore, even if you are acting within the bounds of law, does not make it alright. As Aristotle famously said: “Law is reason free from passion”.

When you look back at the event that took place before, during and after the unfolding of the crisis you will not find many people going to jail. The select few where the ones that committed fraud such Bernard Madoff and a couple of others. Everybody else operated with the bounds of law, yet their unethical and almost immoral behavior brought down the global world economy. The only problem is that, for the most part, being and unethical and immoral is not illegal or against the law. There are only select few cases where unethical behavior can be considered illegal.

By everybody, I mean all of the players in the global financial crisis such as: the mortgage originators, the mortgage brokers, the real estate agents, the servicing firms, the insurance companies, the investment banks, the banks, certain regulators who failed to do their job properly and even the media who had a part in feeding the real estate bubble. Nobody did anything that was illegal per say, and not many people went to jail for bringing down the global economy, but they armies of people played a part in the crisis.

The question is, shouldn’t it be a crime to cripple a global economy? I am not the one to answer that question, but the issues becomes obvious. Behavior that occurs with the bounds of law, is not always moral behavior and might eve have more adverse consequences than certain illegal behavior. For example, it is at banks discretion who it gives out the loans to and there is nothing illegal when you give a loan to somebody that is asking for it. But there is a problem, when you charge that person fees and then turn around and sell the mortgage to be securitized, receive the cash back from the principal and lend out again. None of the above behavior, was illegal, but it put undue risk towards the rest of the society.

But then the question becomes, do we classify immoral or an ethical behavior as illegal? If so, how doe we prove that something is immoral or unethical? Of course there are other ways to discourage immoral or unethical behavior such as setting up incentives against such behavior, but then the ball goes to the governments court. Government, like I mentioned before is the sole player who sets up, interprets and enforces the laws and creates a playing field for the society.

So, then the question becomes, is it the governments fault for setting up faulty rules, which allow personal interests to be put above the society’s interests?  I think it might be the case. It is a huge responsibility, but it is the only player that has the power and the resources to create a fair playing field for all of the players. Like, I mentioned before, judging which behavior is ethical or immoral can too close of a call, but creating incentives against behavior, which puts the whole society at risk, is something the government should take complete responsibility over.

I understand, that is work in progress and it will a long time before we have perfect system set, if that is going to happen ever at all. In the mean while, I believe it falls on the shoulders of ordinary citizens like you and I, to remember that just because it is legal does not always make it alright and that the true moral compass does not lie within the law, but it lies with our hearts and our consciousness.

We, human beings, like predictability and we resist to change. Predictability eliminates uncertainty, which in turn makes our lives comfortable and easy. Change, on the other hand, creates uncertainty and fear. Naturally, predictability and change has their own trade offs. Predictability costs us growth and change creates growth. Nothing in life is free.

The nature of life however is change and uncertainty.

Already, there is a conflict. We like predictable, life gives us uncertainty. So, we try to predict life and we try to predict and anticipate change. Throughout human history, we tried to come up with theories, which would predict the ever changing reality. In my opinion, we did not do such a good job at it.

In particular, I am going to discuss economics and finance. Each of those sciences are crucial to the development and prosperity of human life on earth. They both deal with resource allocation, distribution and use. More so, they both try to predict the future and eliminate uncertainty and risk as much possible from our lives. And that is great. However, there flaws, of which the costs are unknown.

Predictability requires structure. Reality is not structured. Yet, both economics and finance repeatedly provide us with theories that are very structured and rigid. They are not dynamic. One reason for that is because they rely on mathematics to prove their theories and observations. Mathematics is, for the most part, the structured and rigid science. That in itself, limits the kinds of assumptions the economists and financiers can make about the reality and resources around us.

That almost forces them to use theories that rely on unrealistic assumptions, which have no basis in reality. For example, the assumption that individuals are rational; or the assumption that we all behave in a uniform fashion. The list could go on. It almost seams that the most brilliant minds try to squeeze a dynamic reality in a structured theory and just come up with various assumptions to make their theories work and fit their mathematical models. And that is all fine, however, the problems begin when policies and laws are put into place, which rely on those unrealistic theories.

And that is a huge problem. If you base policies for a dynamic and ever changing life based on rigid and mathematically based theories, you are headed for a disaster.

The most recent financial crisis has showed us the true effect of that. Are markets self-regulating? Are humans rational? Do we all work in our own interest? Do we make the best decisions for us? Those are just some of the questions that economics and finance try to answer and come with theories to explain.

The worlds brightest minds make mistakes in the pursuit of predictability. But you don’t have to do that. Ultimately it comes down to thinking on your own and just looking around your own reality and deciding if the theories that you have come up with match what is going on.

It is alright to make assumptions, which simply things with a reasonable amount of error, however, beware of making assumptions, which not just simplify, but distort the very phenomenon you are trying to explain. Maybe, if we all just accepted that life is complex and dynamic and not predictable, but ever changing and in flux, we would be living in much different, better world.

I am a huge South Park fan. I have seen every single episode ever made. It has some of the best social commentary about everything and anything. However, one of my favorites of all time is the South Park’s movie “Imaginationland”

Here is a reason behind that. People always question what is real and what is not real. The question comes up very often in discussions about God. Is it real or is it a figment of imagination? It almost always comes down to this: can you prove it?

That’s where it all usually stops because nobody can prove or disprove the existence of God.

As I was reading the book called “The Evolution of God” by Robert Wright, I realized that it does not really matter of it is real or not. What really matters is summed up in the following quote by Kyle:

“General: If I’m not mistaken, you’re the one who bet that leprechauns weren’t real. So why do you care what happens?

Kyle:    Because I- [catches himself] I… Um… because I think… they are real. It’s all real. Think about it. Haven’t Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he… he’s had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny and, a-and Superman and Harry Potter. They’ve changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn’t that make them kind of “real.” They might be imaginary, but, but they’re more important than most of us here. And they’re all gonna be around long after we’re dead. So in a way, those things are more realer than any of us.”

To be honest, I was blown away. So simple and to the point.

In short, one could say that something is real if it has an impact in our lives. That is all that matters. Weather God is real or not, does not matter. God, at the very least, represents an idea, which can change lives and empower people.

That is all the more reason to respect other people’s view and beliefs and not to try and force ours upon them. What is really real might not ever be understood by anybody. This does not mean that we should try and stop understanding the underlying reality behind our world. No!

The understanding that real things are those that make an impact on our lives gives us a common ground to relate and opens up communication channles with people around the world with different beliefs and worldviews.

In the end, even if we figure out the TRUTH of how this world is put together, would it really change the way we live or the aspiration in our lives? We can look through history looking for an answer and we will see that values of love, honesty, friendship, sacrifice and so on have always been central to our existence.

So next, you are about to challenge somebody else reality think about this simple lesson from South Park and instead of closing the doors you will open them up wide. It does not hurt to explore!

____________

Image: Bill Doc

Statistics And Life

Thinking of statistics reminds of college. Stats were all about numbers and other dry “stuff” that had little relevance to anything important in life. That’s what I thought at the time. Yet, I am increasingly more intrigued by what statistics can show us and teach us about life.

I am not going to write about how awesome statistics is and how everybody should study it to understand life better, but I am going to share one thing that could change the way you see the world once and for all:

Correlation does not imply causation.

That’s it – correlation does not imply causation. Let it sink in for a minute.

Many people tend to think that correlation implies causation. Such manner of thinking is subconscious most of the time, yet  we have problems such as racism, xenophobia, sexism and many other isms that give rise to prejudice and judgment precisely because of that. It is because of that misunderstanding that many of us carry negative mental images of events, peoples, cultures and so on, which prevent us from openly interacting with those different from us. This is why we form stereotypes.

I am going to show you how understanding this simple statement: “Correlation does not imply causation” can help you rid your life of stereotypes once and for all. That statement on it’s own is the antidote for the poison of bias and judgment that runs wild in our world.

However, first, we must understand how stereotypes are formed in order to be able to apply the antidote.

How Stereotypes Are Formed

Our brain is mostly to blame for the formation of stereotypes in our mind.

Our brain has to process unfathomable amount of information during the day. It cannot possible understand it all because of the limited capacity of the brain. Even if it did, the process would take too long and would be of little benefit to us. That is why our brain comes up with certain rules or filters which kick in automatically, given a certain set of circumstances. This way our brain is trying to keep our mental capacity open for making the decisions that truly matter.

Another huge factor in formation of stereotypes is  something called information bias. If we are only exposed to a certain set of information about a particular occurrence, then our brain will receive only biased information. That will only accelerate the process of  stereotype forming.

Knowing this fact, we can easily see how the media can be used in the formation of stereotypes. The media sources can choose to form a desired stereotype in our mind by repeatedly exposing us with biased information creating associations in our minds without us even realizing.

Let us examine an example.

Let us assume that all tall people that you have ever seen in your life are basketball players. It is because you are a son or daughter of a basketball player. You are receiving biased information and over long periods of time. What happens in your head is this: all tall people are basketball players OR if you are tall then you must be a basketball player. You have formed a stereotype. You have not been exposed to enough of contradicting information for you to start doubting that all tall people are basketball players.

The above process can be easily generalized into the following observation. During my life I have experienced (I have seen, been told, heard of, etc) that people with X characteristic are Y; therefore, I will just assume that if I see a person with X characteristic, he will have a Y feature.

You can see how the above process easily gives rise racism, sexism, xenophobia and numerous other misjudgments about people.  That easily happens, if we are not aware of the fact that correlation does not imply causation.

The Cure

Let us revisit the example with the basketball players. Before you were introduced to the idea that correlation does not imply causation, you thought that all tall people are basketball players.

Here is how you thinking would change after the introduction of the idea that correlation does not imply causation. You would think the following: “Even though, all tall people I have seen in my life are basketball players, that is not necessarily the case because correlation does not imply causation. I might not have seen all of the tall people in the world for me to make this assumption. I should investigate more.”

So there you are. If you are aware of the fact that correlation does not imply causation, then you should be able to resits forming premature stereotypes about individuals, peoples, countries, associations and so on. Before jumping to conclusions ask yourself this: “Do I have enough information to form an opinion? Or, have I been exposed only to certain information with the intent of me forming a certain view about the event or a person? How and where can I find a contradicting piece of evidence which will negate my current understanding?”

If you just remember that correlation does not imply causation, then you will open up many doors in your life because of your open mind and curiosity and absence of judgment and bias. You will enrich your life with new and unexpected connections and experiences. Happy exploring!

_______________

Image: instantatlas

Have you ever set out to accomplish a fairly vague goal such as becoming better at something. That something could be speaking, writing, socializing, networking, basketball, programming and so on. Since better is a very vague word, it is inherently hard to measure our progress or know how we are doing.

For example, I set out into the blogging world. I just wanted to share my thoughts with the rest of the world, help a couple of people. Nothing big. Then I started getting into it, as I realized vast opportunities that blogging presents. And then, I realized that if I want to make anything out of my blog, I have to improve my writing.

A tool of communication with the rest of the world! Sounds pretty important doesn’t it?

Well, as I progressed through my journey, I felt that I was getting better at it, but I was not sure. So I decided to ask for feedback. It’s one of the best choices I have made.

It does not matter what you are trying to get better at; you NEED to know how you are doing. Are you running a project and want to know if the customer is pleased? Are you working on speech and you want to know if it is coming along well? If so, then the best way to get better at something is to ask for feedback. Period.

Here is why.

• It will show others that you care. What better way to show others that you care about what you do than by earnestly asking for genuine feedback? Even if it is something that you are doing for yourself (such as blogging, public speaking, project management, programming, etc), by asking others for feedback you will get them thinking about you. Your friends, co-workers, or family will become more aware of what you are doing and often will help you improve faster by providing  you with additional tools, advice or just general support.

• You will know your own progress. You will be able to understand if the actions that you are taking are helping you or hurting you. Feedback will help you figure out if you are moving too fast, too slow, putting enough, too much or too little effort in achieving your goals. Often times, we will have an idea of how we are doing, but feedback can work as a “reality check” for us to maintain awareness of our actions.

• You will push yourself out of your comfort zone. Naturally, you will have to put yourself out there when asking for feedback. You might have to force yourself to talk to your boss, your spouse, your children, your coworkers, strangers and friends in order to get feedback about the topic that concerns you. How is that pushing myself out of my comfort zone you might ask? Well, if you are asking for feedback be prepared to hear the good, the bad and the ugly. Especially the bad and the ugly. But that is exactly why feedback is important. If everybody just told you the good stuff while hiding the bad, what good would it do to you? NOTHING. So expect and learn how to deal with criticism and remember that a failure just points to an area for improvement.

• You will push others out of their comfort zone. This is a tough one. Believe or not people are very nice. Most of  us will do the most we can to avoid any sort of conflict. That is exactly what you are doing when you are asking for feedback, HONEST feedback. I am going to say it again: ask for HONEST feedback. That means others will have to tell you the bad and the ugly as well as the good stuff. That in itself is a recipe for conflict. People are worried about hurting others feelings by telling them the truth EVEN when they ask for it! Be sure to emphasize honesty because if they will try to play a nice person and hold things back from you, then you  and the other person will lose on the opportunities for growth by putting yourselves into a conflict situation.

• It will open up channels of communication. Naturally, this will force you to communicate and even talk openly to people which you would generally not even say “Hi” to.  This can be a great conversation starter and a catalyst for new friendships. You might discover new friends along the way who will help you excel even further by being honest and resourceful.

I personally experienced all of the above effects of feedback by asking my friend and fellow blogger Oleg Mokhov to provide me with honest feedback on my writing. It’s great and one of the more overlooked resources for growth. Because of this important information that I am receiving from Oleg, I am able to write better and better growing my blog and attracting more readers and hopefully helping them improve their lives!

You can do it too! All you have to do is ASK.

_________________

Image: Don Moyer

“We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” – Fight Club

X: I love that quote. It’s awesome! I completely agree with it!
Y: Are you crazy? That’s nonsense. I know that any of us can be millionaires and movie stars. All we have to do is to chose so!
X: That’s crap. Society is just structured so that only a few lucky ones can get to the top. The rest of us are just fed false dreams to keep us somewhat happy and calm.
Y: Are you kidding me? I have witnessed so many people who were at the bottom and the rose to the top to become millionaires and movie starts just by working hard and putting in the effort.That is all you need in this life: hard work and you can make anything of yourself. I know I will be something one day!
X: Yea right. Did you ever look around yourself? There are millions of other people out there just like living this false dream, thinking they are going to be superstars. What makes you think you are different from them? Look, I want to be a millionaire too. I want to live in the lazy life, do nothing, just chill, hang out and do what I want. But I have to be realistic. I have to know my limits and just accept the reality for what it is.
Y: That is exactly why you are going no where. What are you going to do? Join a “Fight Club”? Give up on your dreams and just go join the rest of the losers?
X: Who are you calling a loser?
Y: You! Whatever, you just don’t get it
X: Me? Are you kidding me? Look who is talking!

What Is A Disagreement

Sounds familiar? Who is right in this situation? Who is wrong? Are they both partially right and partially wrong? Did this argument accomplish anything? Did it add any value to anybody? Chances are that nothing positive came out of the conversation.

We all have something to say about everything: self-development, nutrition, exercise, sleep, education, health care, war, love, etc. Yet, many of us really don’t care if what we know is the truth or just a widely accepted belief. What we really care about is that we have an opinion and because it is ours it makes it the correct one. It is very difficult for us to accept the fact that we might be wrong about something.  Matter of fact, when we realize that we are wrong, we try to defend our perspective even more.

Because of the reasons above, most disagreements lead people to feel lesser than they really are; their confidence drops, they start to doubt themselves; they feel resentment towards the other person; they feel emotionally and physically drained. That is why most people will tell you to avoid arguments all together and just let other person be. People will tell you to stay on the safe side and keep your opinion to your self. That might be true. But I tend to disagree.

Creating Value By Disagreeing

Let me tell you a little story. When I went to college I worked as a resident assistant at one of the residential halls. I naturally like confronting people and challenging their views. So it happened that I got into an argument about god with one of the very religious co-workers of mine. See, I have a very different understanding of god than most people that I meet. You could say it that it is a very nontraditional view. The co-workers happened to have a very traditional belief of God.

Before the argument even started, I thought to myself: “Here we go again. He’s going to try to convert me to his views. This is going to be fun…” Indeed, it was a lot of fun! The conversation lasted for hours. It had to be one of the most educational and eye opening conversations that I have ever had. I have learned so much about people and life that I did not know before or did not fully understand. The other person created value by disagreeing with me. It was just an outstanding experience!

After that, I started noticing it happening more and more frequently. I realized that it was not a unique, isolated event. Eventually, I realized that disagreeing with somebody can be the best learning and growth experience that you can have with somebody.

Here is why value is created when you disagree with others:

• You get a chance to test and reexamine the validity of your beliefs
• You get to learn of a different perspective about the same issue
• You learn how to connect with people on a personal level
• You get an opportunity to grow
• You provide an opportunity of growth for the other person
• You test the beliefs of the other person

If done right, a disagreement will provide you and others with a tremendous value and will accelerate your growth.

Disagreement is a catalyst of growth.

For the reasons above, it is selfish not seek opportunities for disagreement! You should go out there and ask people to disagree with you, to continuously challenge your beliefs, to keep you on the edge. You should also go out there and become confrontational! Express your opinions when you do not agree! Get out there and disagree!

However, you might get your feelings – or something else – hurt if you don’t do it right. There is a right way to disagree.

How To Disagree

Follow the following tips to create the most value for yourself and others when disagreeing:

• Know yourself. Know why you believe something that you believe in. Know the reasons behind it, so you can clearly articulate and explain yourself in such manner that would provide value to the person listening.

• Keep an open mind. If you are approaching others with a purpose to disagree then expect and be ready for things that will make you emotionality irritated. Expect them and neutralize them before hand. Losing your cool is the worst thing that can happen when being engaged in an argument.

• Listen. If you are going just to force your opinion onto others, you will soon find people keeping their distance from you. Learn how to listen. If you listen and understand the other person, you will gain an insight into their thinking. You will gain their respect and they will listen to you as well. Keeping communication channels open is crucial if you want to learn something and create value for others.

• Ask questions. If you do not understand something – ask. Others will be more than happy to explain it to you. Do not jump to conclusions when you hear something that does not make sense to you. Give the other person a chance to provide a complete explanation.

• Be patient. Understand that arguments might take a long time. If it is something that is important to you – schedule a more convenient time to talk and come ready. Doing things in a rush, can cause even more confusion than to help any of the involved parties.

• Know when to stop. Sometimes, it is just crucial to stop the argument. Once you realize that the other person is refusing to listen, cuts you short, forces their opinion on you – leave. Politely excuse yourself and get away from a ” you lose  he/she wins” situation.

Now go out there and disagree!

QUESTION: When was the last time you created or gained value from disagreeing?

__________

Image: Photobucket

There are two important and closely related concepts that Joker touches upon in the movie Dark Knight: control and expectations. He knew something that most of the population either was not aware of or chose to ignore. The Joker used that knowledge to create chaos in people’s lives. I am going to discuss those two concepts- control and expectations -so that you can avoid “a Joker” playing a joke on your life. So let’s us find out why The Joker was right:

About Control

“Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just… do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon’s got plans. You know, they’re schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I’m not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.” – The Joker

Do you have a plan? Most of us do have an idea of what we want to do and where we want to go in life. Why do we plan? The simple answer is - most people like to be in control. They like to be in control of their lives, of other people people and events around them. People like to plan things to feel in control of their destiny. There is nothing inherently wrong with that.

Issues arise when people start believing in the illusion that they can control things outside of  themselves. A different scenario is when people start thinking that they should control events outside of themselves. When individuals do so, people are faced with forces like “the Joker”, who wants ” to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are”. After all, the Joker, is just a metaphor for everything that is uncontrollable in our lives.

We have to remember that the only thing we are in control of are ourselves. Nothing that is outside of you is under your control. If you think that it is, then you are believing the illusion.

If want to eliminate “the Joker” from our lives, then we have to focus on ourselves and let the outside world be the way it is. Does that mean that we have to stop planning our lives and just go with the flow? In a sense, yes. We just have to be certain that the flow is taking us towards the right direction in our lives.

There is an old expression saying: “Many roads lead to Rome”. So find your road Rome and go for it. Do not worry if you get knocked off your path. Find a different way to get there. Instead of having a structured plan, have a direction in life. Know where you are going and that you are going to get there. Trust yourself. Develop the tools within you to maximize the opportunities to get to where you going. This way you will avoid wasting energy on the unnecessary events and emotions in your life and focus on what to truly matters.

About Expectations

“You know what I’ve noticed? Nobody panics when things go “according to plan.” Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it’s all “part of the plan.” But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds! ” -The  Joker

Expectations create ups and downs in our lives. If our expectations are met, then we don’t even notice that. The only time, people really notice anything is if their expectations are not met or they are exceeded. In a sense having expectations is like gambling. You never know when you are going to win and when you are going to loose. It is great when our expectations are exeeded, but it is really dissapointing when they are not met.

How do we deal with that? We should stop havng expectations about the outside world. Setting expectation about something that you cannot control will once again cause suffering, disappointment and other negative emotions.

When you set expectations for yourself, you know that even if you don’t meet your own expectations, you will know exactly where to turn for the solution. You will become empowered about your own life. The outside events won’t affect you as much, you will be able to lead a calmer and a more fulfilling life. So let go of the expectations and turn your attention inwards.

Moreover, setting expectations outside of ourselves can cause us to lose the true of picture of what is going on around. Instead of seeing for something for what it is, we start just reacting to things emotionally.It is similar to connecting your emotions to the stock market: you are happy when the market is up, you are sad when the market is down; you are sad, when the market is up, but by not as much as it should have been up, you are happy, when that market is down, but not by as much as you expected.

That roller coaster impairs our judgment and understanding of the reality around us. So do not listen for what others expect, so that when things go or don’t go like they are supposed, you will be able to maintain mental clarity. You will be able to be ahead of everybody else and lead a more fulfilling life.

In short, do not set expectation outside of yourself; set them for yourself. Do not try to control what is uncontrolable; the only thing you can control is yourself. Become aware of who you are and what are about and you will lead a rich life.

]]> http://uncertainchange.com/2009/11/12/why-the-joker-was-right/feed/ 16 http://uncertainchange.com/2009/11/02/look-outside-to-learn-about-whats-inside-practical-guide-to-self-awarness/ http://uncertainchange.com/2009/11/02/look-outside-to-learn-about-whats-inside-practical-guide-to-self-awarness/#comments Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:32:00 +0000 Tomas Stonkus http://uncertainchange.com/?p=477

Summary

This article is going to offer a practical guide to self-awareness. Last week I discussed awareness and it’s importance in our lives. Yet, from my experience, I know that people are looking not only for theoretical knowledge, but for practical tips of how to implement a change in their lives. That is why today I am giving you a free practical guide to self-awareness based on personal experiences: “Look Outside To Learn About What’s Inside.”

Assumptions

It is my strong belief supported by my experiences that the world outside of ourselves is a pretty good indicator of what is going inside. It reveals unparalleled information about our emotional state of being. If you read my article on emotions, then you know how much information emotions actually hold.

What is the basis in saying that  the world outside  of ourselves is a pretty good indicator of what is going inside? Experience. That’s the quick answer.

The more detailed answer follows. Most people seek validation for their actions, thoughts and feelings. We naturally want to be understood and fit in with others. That is how we connect with the rest of the world. It is good a good part of our human nature if you use for the right purposes.

However, it can be harmful if it is used carelessly. If people are feeling negative emotions, they will be more likely to seek validation of their feelings by subconsciously seeking negativity. It may come in various forms. Some people turn to other negative people; some turn to unhealthy foods; some turn to sad or depressing music, movies, books. etc. All of the above actions are meant to validate that our negative emotions are normal. In essence, they are meant to make us feel good about feeling bad. That is a trap that most people fail to become aware of.

Look Outside To Learn What’s Inside

That is exactly why I wrote this article – to increasing your awareness of your emotional state of being. The simple correlation between your inner world and your outer one is this: disorder or negativity on the outside usually reflects the same on the inside. It is important to not use this guide to evaluate other people’s inner emotional states. Most people are good at hiding even the smallest things from the outsiders. This guide is intended for your own personal use and evaluation only.
There are five ways that we absorb information from the outside world:

• sight,
• hearing,
• taste,
• touch,
• smell.

With that in mind, I will teach you how to use those five senses to increase the awareness of your emotions. Ask yourself the questions listed bellow and examine the answers that you get. The accumulation of those answers should give you a pretty good understanding of what is going on the inside.

1. What do you see?
   • What do you see in the mirror?
     1. Are you satisfied with your physical fitness?
        • Be honest with yourself. Could you be in a better physical shape than you are today? It is important to clarify one point: just because you are not happy with the way your body looks, does not mean that you are not in shape. For example, you could be in the best shape of your life and still could be unhappy with your body. Leave negative body images aside.
     2. Is there a smile on your face?
        • A fellow blogger and a good friend of mine, Oleg Mokhov, covered smiling in one of his outstanding articles: “How to Drastically Improve Your Mood: Smile”
     3. Are you well-groomed?
        • Do you take the time to shave, get a haircut, etc?
     4. How does your skin look?
        • Healthy skin goes back to proper nutrition and stress management. Are you doing a good job at managing both?
     5. Do you have healthy teeth?
        • Do you take time everyday to brush your teeth to keep them healthy?
   • What movies are you watching?
     • Are they happy, thoughtful movies with social commentary? Are they comedies that give you a good laugh? Are they horror movies? Are they existentialist movies? Are they drama filled?
   • What do you see around yourself?
     • Is your desk messy? Is your house messy? Is your bedroom neat? Is computer organized? Is your car clean? What about your garage? What about your yard? What about your closet? What do you see on your way to work? What about the neighborhood that you live?
   • What do you read?
     • Are you reading self-help blogs, magazines, books? Are you reading knowledge enhancing books? Are you reading drama? Are you reading comics?
   • What clothes do you wear?
     • Are they dark? Are they bright? Do you wear “happy” colors?
2. What do you hear?
   • What music do you listen to?
     • Is it happy? Is it peaceful? It it rowdy, angry, energetic, sad, motivating, relaxing?
   • What are people saying to you?
     • The basic question here is: “Are you surrounding yourself with the right people?” Are they positive or negative? Do they complain a lot? Do they encourage you? Do they strive to achieve things in life? Do they look for solutions?  Do they gossip?
   • What about the noise outside?
     • Is it quiet? Is it noisy? Can you sleep and rest well?
3. What do you smell?
   • How do you smell?
     • Do you take the time to take care of yourself? Do you smell fresh and clean? Are your clothes clean?
   • How does your environment smell?
     • Do you live by a road, a factory? Do you live by a park? Do you like in the country? How does your house, your room, your office, your bathroom smell?
   • How does your food smell?
     • Does it smell fresh? Does it smell inviting?
4. What do you taste?
   • How does your food taste?
     • This question basically deals with your diet. Does your food taste good? Is it something that you should be eating? Is it the right food for you?
   • How does your water taste?
     • Does it taste fresh? Is it refreshing?
5. What do you touch?
   • Are your clothes smooth to the touch? What about your skin? Other textures around you?
     

The reasons for choosing junk food over healthy one over are various and complex and I do not believe the discussion of those reasons would add any value to this discussion. That is why I am going to omit them for the time being.

How To Use The Information

1. Get in the habit of asking yourself these questions and monitoring the responses. That will give you a ton of data to work with.
2. Catch yourself in a certain emotional state fast! If it is not a pleasant one, then you will be able to do something about it fast.
3. Identify habits, places, people, foods, activities that are not healthy for you and that can and probably should be changed.
4. Change what you do not life. Just like your inner emotions will attract you to ideas, places, sounds, etc to support that inner states, so can the outside environment influence the way you feel inside. It is my experience that environment is a huge factor in the way we feel in life and what we do. So if you want to change your emotional state of being , then you should consciously change the way your perceive yourself. You should change your environment to support the new emotional sate that you want to be in.

Some things might be easy to fix. For example, you can start smiling, brushing your teeth, washing your clothes regularly, cleaning your desk or room today. However, some changes will take much longer. For example, changing the people that you hang out with, moving to a different neighborhood , getting a different job, getting in shape, eating proper foods might you take you a long time. Yet I believe that is possible and many people have done it.

The important things that you are aware of your emotional state and being able to identify things that limit your growth and eliminating or changing them. If you are looking for effective ways to simplify your life and eliminate the unnecessary, I highly recommend ZenHabits.net.

Thank you for reading.

***DISCLAIMER: Also, a reader must understand that correlation does not imply causation. That is, just because your car is messy or that you like horror movies does not mean that you necessarily have emotional issues to deal with. The same is true for the opposite: just because you are watching good movies, listen to calm music, are well put together does not mean that your emotions are under control. I just noticed correlation between my emotional states in my life and my surroundings, which, most of the time, are pretty good indicators of m inner feelings.***

Have you ever felt out of control in your life? Have you ever felt like you did not understand why certain things were happening to you? Have you ever felt like you were just going through motions?  If you can relate to the above situations, then you know what it feels like to lack awareness.

In this article I am going to try to give you all my understanding of what awareness is and why it is important to you and exactly why you want to become aware. Finally, I will give you some tips and tools to get started today!

What is Awareness?

Awareness is what businesses pay for to consulting firms. Awareness is what psychologists do. Awareness is your friend telling you how to improve your paper.  All of the above scenarios describe awareness. A definition that unites all of them would be this – ability to look at yourself and your activities through an outsider’s point of view.

Look back to the time, when you wrote an essay. You were done. You thought it was perfect. You were ready to submit to your professor or teacher. Yet, just because you have been told to do it, you ask for your friend to proof read it. All of the sudden, grammar errors, weird constructs, incomplete sentences, lack of coherent thoughts spill out of the paper. Then you sit back and wonder: “How did I miss it all? After all I read it so many times and checked it and double checked it!” I have a simple answer – you lacked awareness.

Being aware is all about writing your essay and being able to critique it. Being aware is doing something that you should not being doing and catching and stopping yourself from doing it. Being aware is like having a personal life coach with you at all times, except that life coach is yourself.

Why You Need To Become Aware

Becoming aware of your own actions and thoughts will change your life. You will be able to make better decisions because, you will be able to catch yourself before going the wrong direction. Your life quality will improve as you will be able to discover habits that are not beneficial for you and get rid of them. You will become more effective at getting things done because you will be able to self critique yourself. Too good to be true? Hardly. Here is why.

How many times have you critiqued papers and people were thankful for it? How many times your friends came to you for advice and were thankful for helping them making a better decision? How many times you caught people doing thing that they were not aware of? I know I have done quite often, but yet, often times I have failed to become my own consultant. It was very frustrating, but yet, I believe, I have found a solution that works for me. It is only my hope that it will work for you as well.

How to Become Aware

This is only beginners guide on how to become aware. I am not going to reveal any secrets that will change your life over night. It is all hard work and requires persistence and patience. So here it goes.

1. The first and most basic and the most effective technique and practice that one can engage in is meditation. It has been practiced for thousands of years and the benefits of meditation have been scientifically proven. Through meditation you can clear your mind, still your thoughts and emotions, which allows room for clearer thinking and increased awareness. I have documented my personal experiences with meditation in this site as well.
2. If you are already practicing meditation, then the next step would be to study. Go back to basics and study habits and people and how they work and why they work the way they do. Read books or blogs. There are plenty of resources out there to increase your awareness. One of my favorites are StevePavlina.com. Here you will find more resources than you will ever want on creating and breaking habits. One article to get your started could be the following: Raising Awareness Through Multiple Perspectives .
3. The next best thing to studying (or vice versa) is experiencing. That is make friends with people who are already have a high level of awareness. You will able to quickly learn on what they do and how they do. You will able to ask questions and just by being around them, you will become more aware.
4. Ask for feedback. That is – ask be criticized! Counter-intuitive? Hardly. People love to criticize. This way you will learn about what they see when they look at what you do and say. Just make sure you are asking for an opinion from honest individuals (for obvious reasons). The benefits of that is that you will able to easier catch yourself in the action, word or thought and correct yourself on the spot.
5. Practice. SPOILER – This might take years to accomplish. I am still on my way, I am still learning and growing. My belief is that if you do that above mentioned things often enough, you will be able to become more aware and cause a change in your life.

Good luck on your journey and become your own consultant and coach in life! Thank you for reading. And feel free to give me feedback to help me grow and change and in turn help you grow and change!

Sometimes I realize how really simple the life is. It is so simple. Very simple, but seems like people just choose to complicate it. The reason for me saying is very simple – reality.

Science vs. Religion

I was having a conversation with a friend today about god and realized that we had a lot in common. I realized that science and religion are not that different and only the underlying beliefs make them seem so different. But then a thought struck me.

It doesn’t matter what I believe in or what the other person believes in. Our beliefs don’t change the reality in which we exist. It doesn’t change what is going to happen to us when we die, it doesn’t change how/why/when we, the humans, came into existence.

Truth

I realized the importance of truth. Truth, which is unaffected by our beliefs. Some that is. Instead of arguing people should try and realize “What is?” as opposed trying to prove that somebody is right or wrong. Which is the very basis of all of the problems in the world – people are afraid of the truth, they rather prove that their BELIEF is right, but in all essence that is just cheating yourself. Why not go out and try actually figure out something and answer the question of what as opposed to saying what YOU THINK because that helps nobody.

Your beliefs can harm you and others around, just like thousands of years over religions have shown to us already. Let us put our egos aside and try help each other understand WHAT IS? Because, in reality that is more beneficial to everybody, it eliminates conflict and hatred. Only the truth and search for truth will bring peace and harmony to the world. I am talking about healthy competition, proving your position based on evidence, helping each other out even if you don’t agree with somebody.

If you base your life on searching for truth all arguments will cease, others will have more respect for you, you will stop wasting your time on people who don’t have an open mind and you will turn enemies into friends.

Key To Life

A search for truth and true understand of reality is the key to understand life and living in harmony with everybody. You are in control of only yourself. You can only change yourself. You can change the way you are and the way you think, but it will have no effect on your outside reality. So stop wasting time on trying to change reality and start taking to change yourself to better understand the reality.